Back to School: The Party!

Tired of the same old house party? If your idea of a good time is dusting off the Monopoly board and cracking open the Fresca, maybe it's time to come up with a new way to entertain your friends. One idea that has gained a lot of popularity in recent years is themed parties. By throwing a theme party you force your friends to break out of their routine, dress and act in a different way, and cause some excitement to flow into your everyday lives.

Not convinced? Look how pumped up most people get around Halloween these days. Halloween has become one of the biggest holidays of the year, with most people spending more on their costumes and a night out than they do for New Year's Eve. The reason is simple: people like to play and act out fantasies. As a good host, you need to nurture that desire and help your friends and guests maximize their social life. So long Monopoly night, the themed party has arrived!

The School Party
Getting started
The idea behind a school party is relatively simple. Your friends dress up as if they were back in school again. All you have to do to get things started is to set a date, pick a school year, and tell them what time class begins. The entire party will be set up as though it were a day in school, giving everyone the opportunity to have lots of fun. In order to get into the school, the 'kids' must wear an appropriate uniform. Since you are the acting principal, it is up to you to decide what they should wear. Here is a list of some popular ideas:

Private school - the boy's can come in their geeky uniforms, and the ladies dress up as Catholic schoolgirls gone bad (plaid, stockings, etc.). This one is always a favorite!

Pick a decade - 70's, 80's, 90's (depends on the age of your friends) - and let your guests dig out some old Van Halen tee-shirts and Jordache Jeans. People can get really creative, so you might want to give them the opportunity to go a little crazy.

Rock & Roll - you can tell them all to dress up as their favorite rock star or band from their high school days.

The Reunion - tell them to come dressed for their 50th high school reunion. Since the night is going to consist of an actual school day, you need to come up with ideas to fill that day. If you keep the fun going, your friends will remember this as the best party ever.

First Bell
On the invitation, all of the students have to arrive on time for school. If they don't arrive on time, they have to have a note from their parents (most likely a forgery) explaining why they were late. You should keep the doors locked until the 8pm bell, then open the doors and ring the bell, letting the kids in for the night.

Roll Call
Once everyone has come into the house, it is time to take attendance. You may want to provide name stickers if this is a party of friends and strangers. Make sure you punish those that are not wearing uniforms. You may want to have a supply of dunce caps handy. Have the kids read out their names and say where they are from. You may want to have some shooters ready to hand out as instant prizes for the most creative names.

First Period: Mathematics
In order to get the kids off on the right foot, you need to have some fun math games for them to play. The main difference between these games and the real school is that they all involve drinking.

Seven Eleven
The kids all get a drink ready and then sit together in the living room. In clockwise order, they start to count out numbers, beginning with number 1. As soon as someone gets to a multiple of 7 or 11, they have to say 'seven-eleven'. If they forgot or make a mistake, they are punished by having to drink.

Coin Fill
Get a large glass and add beer to it. Going in order, each student has to add some liquor to the glass and then flip a coin. While in the air, the student guesses heads or tails. If they guess wrong, they drink. If they are right, the big cup moves to the next person.

Second Period: The Naughty Spelling B
For this next class, students are pitted against each other for a naughty spelling bee. Everyone participates, with the last student left standing winning a prize. If the student gets their word wrong, they must once again start drinking. Here is a list of a few words you can use, but make sure you have plenty more ready for your students to spell:

Cunnilingus, clitoris, scrotum, testicles, vagina, urethra, perineum, vulva, mons, labia, circumcision, foreskin, frenulum, multiple-orgasm.

If you want to add an extra level of skill, have the students explain where and what it is they are spelling. For really naughty parties, the students might want to show off what it is they are spelling.

Recess The kids might need a break right about now, so break out the skipping ropes and soccer ball and let them run around in the back yard for fifteen minutes.

Third Period: Art Class A lot of fun can be had if you pit the girls against the boys. The point of this class is to have the two teams each gets a chance to do sketches and have them guessed correctly in order for their team to win points. Have the two groups each write out a list of words on slips of paper and put them in a jar. They switch jars, and then take turns trying to draw what the other team wrote. Whoever gets the most right by the time the jar is empty wins!

Three O'clock - School's Out!
At the end of the day, all the kids are invited to come back to your house, since your parents have gone out for the night. Time to crank up the tunes from the era you have selected, turn the lights down low, and let all the kids go crazy. Make sure you throw in some long slow songs (Stairway to Heaven?) so the older kids can start making out on the dance floor! Have fun!