Douglas Gets Golden Shower, Jessica's New Love?

What sort of guidance and advice do rich heiresses get from their mothers? Well, celebrity socialite PARIS HILTON tells Blender music magazine, "My mom [KATHY HILTON] told me that you get those holes in your face, craters... from giving blow jobs."

Paris continued, “I totally believed her. She's like, 'It's from sucking.' I'm like, 'Ewwww!' "I told my boyfriend -- he's like, 'Why don't you ever do that?' I'm like, 'Because my mom told me you get these craters.' And he's like, 'Paris, you're 19. You're allowed to do this.'

"I've only done that (blowjobs) with maybe three people in my life."

So who’s the next guy to put a crater on Paris’ face? In what may be the weirdest celebrity pairing imaginable, the New York Post reports that retired pro-cyclist LANCE ARMSTRONG was spotted clubbing on the Sunset Strip with the young heiress.

According to the newspaper, “The two showed up to the Key Club in L.A. Tuesday night to catch the band the Vacation. "They came together, they hung out and left together," said our spy.

TRUMP FIRES HIS SIDEKICK
September 4, 2006

People Magazine reports that property mogul DONALD TRUMP has fired his co-star from "The Apprentice," CAROLYN KEPCHER -- after she reportedly became too wrapped up with her fame from the show.

Earlier this week, Kepcher was released from her duties as the general manager of the Trump National Golf Club in N.Y. -- with sources telling the magazine that Trump had been unhappy with her performance for quite some time.

The source revealed, "This has been brewing for over a year. He has tried to get her on the phone, and she was either off giving a speech or was hard to reach."

The real estate tycoon reportedly felt that the 36-year-old blonde Kepcher was too focused on promoting her own career than his lavish golf course.

The source adds, "She was supposed to be managing the golf course. She was supposed to be selling memberships. That's her job to sell memberships, and she just wasn't doing it.

"With the book, the speaking engagements and these endorsement deals, he's looking at that and thinking, 'She's supposed to be working for me. Yet, she is off creating her own empire.'"

Trump's rep had only one thing to say about the reported firing, "Mr. Trump wishes her the best."

Let’s cross our fingers and hope his sexy secretary, ROBIN HIMMLER, takes her place.

PARIS ASKS FOR TOO MUCH
September 4, 2006

MSNBC reports that celebrity socialite PARIS HILTON asked for an absurd amount of money to appear on a talk show.

British singer CHARLOTTE CHURCH was starting up her own talk show and asked the Hilton to appear as a guest, but was forced to pass when the blonde heiress ended up asking for more than $450,000 just to appear.

"We asked Paris to be on the program because I could take the mic out of her [ridicule her] and not feel at all bad about it -- she's such a complete airhead," Church told Britain’s Radio 1 show.

"But she demanded a ridiculous amount of money -- like the price of a big house just to say a few stupid things. She's hardly going to announce anything world-changing, is she? It's absolutely pathetic, isn't it?"

JESSICA’S NEW LOVE?
September 4, 2006

According to both People and Us Magazine, pop singer JESSICA SIMPSON has reportedly fallen for sensitive singer/songwriter JOHN MAYER.

"She's head over heels," a source tells People. "She's telling friends, 'I'm in love.' "

Sources close to the newly divorced star also reveal that she’s savoring the new romance. "They've barbecued at her house," says a close insider.

"She's just started gardening, and he impressed her by knowing all the flowers she planted."

Mayer is said to be the complete opposite of her ex-husband NICK LACHEY. The source explains, "He makes her feel special and beautiful and smart. Nick used to laugh when she said something that didn't sound smart."

For now, the couple are simply enjoying a fun and private affair. "It's in the first stages," says the Simpson source. "She realizes it's been very sudden and they haven't known each other really long. But the signals and the emotions seem right."

CLOONEY GOES COUGAR HUNTING?
September 4, 2006

Hollywood star GEORGE CLOONEY has reportedly found a new woman in his life -- 52-year-old actress ELLEN BARKIN.

Clooney and Barkin met while filming the new movie 'Oceans Thirteen' and though the 45-year-old renowned playboy usually dates younger women -- he has been telling friends he’s "electrified" by newly-divorced Barkin.

A friend tells Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper, "It's a match made in heaven. George has been a shoulder to cry on for Ellen -- he's helping her get over the divorce.” "She fancies him like mad and you can cut the sexual chemistry on set with a knife. He is so different from her ex-husband, which she loves."

Barkin, who has two children, was left stunned in January when second husband RON PERELMAN -- the billionaire boss of the Revlon empire – filed for divorce.

While filming 'Oceans Thirteen' she and George are said to have bonded during a series of heart-to-heart chats and fast rides on his motorbikes.

Sources also claim that Clooney’s close friend and co-star BRAD PITT introduced his girlfriend ANGELINA JOLIE to Barkin and wants the couples to double-date.

DOUGLAS GETS GOLDEN SHOWER
September 4, 2006

Star Pulse News reports that actor MICHAEL DOUGLAS was forced to ask his son to urinate on him after he was stung by a jellyfish.

During a family vacation in Majorca, Douglas had to tell his six-year-old son, DYLAN, to take the drastic action after one of the poisonous sea creatures stung him while he was swimming.

Without hesitation, young Dylan jumped at the chance to douse his daddy in pee.

The ‘Basic Instinct’ star told British breakfast television show 'GMTV', "I turned to Dylan and went, 'Son, you're just going to have to pee-pee on daddy's back.' He had a brief pause and went, 'Excuse me? Let me get some more water to drink. I don't get these chances very often!'"

Michael, 61, and wife CATHERINE ZETA-JONES, 36, also have a daughter, three-year-old CARYS, together.

Wonder why he didn’t ask his wife to shower him?

‘PARIS’ OFFICIALLY BOMBS; TARA GETS D-LISTED
September 4, 2006

The New York Post reports that celebrity socialite PARIS HILTON musical debut is widely seen as a complete flop.

Her self-titled album ‘Paris,’ which features the single ‘Stars Are Blind,’ reportedly sold a disappointing 75,000 copies in the United States – which is nothing compared to pop star CHRISTINA AGUILERA’s first-week sales of 320,000. And it will get even worse, as projected sales for the following week are said to drop significantly to 30,000.

The newspaper writes, “Paris” is sinking at the bottom of Billboard’s Hot 100 - so Hilton’s label rushed out her second single, “Turn It Up,” which isn’t doing very well either. One industry source told the newspaper, “The international outlook is not much better for her. The international people are not inclined to do a big push since she can’t back up the album with a tour. Obviously, she can’t sing live.”

The source added that Hilton was advised years ago to train her voice, work with choreographers and learn an instrument to prepare for a limited tour, but "obviously she didn't listen."

Now although Paris’ album may have been a bust, she still has a lot more star power than ‘American Pie’ actress TARA REID.

In a video shot by TMZ, Reid was spotted getting denied and trying desperately in vain to get waved into Hollywood hotspot ‘Hyde’ as Hilton and her new best friend KIM KARDASHIAN were given the rep carpet treatment and whisked inside. It looks like Reid’s popularity is sagging like her breasts.

It add insult to injury, Hilton shot a quick pity glance and smirk towards Reid as she breezed by her. Meeeow.

EMINEM UPSETS HEF’S LOVER
September 4, 2006

According to the New York Post, rapper EMINEM has apologized to one of HUGH HEFNER's girlfriends after they fell out over a badly received prank.

The hip-hop superstar enlisted ‘The Girls Next Door’ star KENDRA WILKINSON to play his love interest in a new music video for the song "Smack That Ass," -- but was accused of acting "disrespectfully" when a joke went wrong.

Wilkinson's rep JONATHAN BARAM tells the newspaper, "Eminem came out of his trailer and threw water on her and was really disrespectful. He flipped out on her. She's a tough girl. She didn't take it, and they went at it -- not physically but verbally.

Immediately after the incident, the blonde beauty reportedly charged at Eminem to knock him out, but was held back and restrained by Slim Shady’s huge bodyguard.

Cooler heads did prevail as Wilkinson reflects, "Now that I think about it, he was probably just playing a joke. I don't want there to be any controversy between me and Eminem."

Eminem has since reported to make peace by sending a blooming bouquet to the Playboy mansion. He better hope he’s not permanently banned from there.

At the present, Hefner has three live-in lovers, HOLLY MADISON, 26, BRIDGET MARQUARDT, 32, and the 21-year-old Wilkinson.

LINDSAY GIVES GREAT GIFTS
September 4, 2006

The British Daily Star reports that actress LINDSAY LOHAN has been sending sex toys to her close friends as gifts.

"Lindsay has been making her female friends laugh by sending them sex toys as she wanted to cheer them up," a source revealed.

"The latest thing she sent out was an Ann Summers sex toy called the Deluxe Rampant Rabbit. Lindsay thinks they are hilarious. As well as 12 pairs of sexy black thongs, some massage oil and edible underwear she has ordered 12 of the Deluxe Rabbits off the internet."

TROUBLE WITH BRADANGELINA?
September 4, 2006

Star Magazine reports that actress ANGELINA JOLIE offended BRAD PITT’s parents at her son’s MADDOX fifth birthday party by drinking.

The Pitt’s had flown into Los Angeles from Missouri to celebrate little Maddox’s birthday with their son Brad and Jolie’s mother MARCHELINE BETRAND as well as visiting their granddaughter’s ZAHARA and SHILOH NOUVEL.

However, according to the tabloid, Jolie barely acknowledged Brad’s parents and upset them further by getting drunk at the open bar.

A source revealed, "They [The Pitts] were the only ones not drinking and it was uncomfortable for them. To Jane, drinking is unhealthy, and she thought Angelina was intoxicated. Things were very tense that weekend, and they left with an even worse impression of Angelina than before. They think she is tactless and doesn't consider other peoples feelings."

The Pitts allegedly were so disgusted with Jolie’s behavior that they cut their trip short and returned to Missouri on the day of the party.

PARIS FURIOUS WITH CHER’S SON
September 4, 2006

According to MSNBC, celebrity socialite PARIS HILTON is reportedly furious with Cher's son ELIJAH BLUE ALLMAN -- for claiming the two had sex and worrying he caught a sexually transmitted disease from her.

Allman went on the HOWARD STERN radio show last week, boasting he had a brief fling with Hilton before she became famous.

Allman -- the lead singer for the band ‘Deadsy’ -- claims that after the encounter he became so concerned he might have contracted something he scrubbed down his private parts with the household bathroom cleaner ‘Tilex’.

A source claims Hilton is "not happy" about his rude comments, even though he described Hilton as a "sweet girl."

During the raunchy interview, Allman also bragged that he had sex years ago with Hilton's former best friend NICOLE RICHIE and claims the two have remained friends.

CELEBRITIES REVEAL BEAUTY SECRETS
September 4, 2006

According to Life Style Extra, supermodel CINDY CRAWFORD -- who once claimed she owed her flawless skin to a "miracle mixture" of ground coffee and olive oil -- has now revealed that she's been having cosmetic surgery since she was 29.

The catwalk beauty is now 40 and openly admitted to Gala Magazine, “I owe the quality of my skin to my cosmetic surgeon. I'm not going to lie to myself, past a certain age, creams work on the texture of your skin but, in order to restore elasticity, all I can really count on is vitamin injections, ‘Botox’ and collagen.”

In related news, pop star JESSICA SIMPSON has finally admitted to having her lips artificially plumped up last year, and says she regrets having done it because it didn't look natural.

In the October issue of Glamour Magazine, Simpson revealed that she had the protein-based gel ‘Restylane’ injected, hoping that it was safer and more natural looking than collegen.

Unfortunately, Simpson wasn’t satisfied with the results, she says, "I had that Restylane stuff. It looked fake to me. I didn't like that. But... it went away in, like, four months. My lips are back to what they were. Thank God!"

NEVERLAND GOES UP IN FLAMES?
September 4, 2006

According to the Money Times, pop king MICHAEL JACKSON’s Neverland ranch almost burned down last Friday.

Close to 100 firefighters were reportedly called to the estate to contain a 40-acre fire which came close to the main house and the amusement park. Officials said that no animals, people or rides were harmed in the blaze. Jackson hasn’t been living at the ranch since he was acquitted of child molestation charges in the summer of 2005.

In related news, MSNBC reports that Jackson that Neverland is up for sale and that the pop superstar’s collection of exotic pets are quietly being unloaded. "Jackson's elephant sold to a big wheel [circus] near Los Angeles," a source told the magazine. "It's also true that Jackson has four giraffes up for sale. His asking price: $35,000 a pair."