Jeter In 7th Heaven, Britney Porn Exists

Since pop princess BRITNEY SPEARS dropped the divorce bomb on KEVIN FEDERLINE, media outlets have had a field day with rumors of what lead to the break up. Here’s a breakdown of some of the latest gossip news:

Life & Style Weekly claims that Federline’s continual infidelity is the reason why the couple’s surprise split. According to the magazine, “On November 2, five days before making the split official, she[Britney] caught him with another woman, says an insider. “Britney walked into their suite, and there was a friend of Kevin’s and a blonde walking around in her bra and panties,” says a Spears business insider. “Kev acted like it was no big deal. He told Brit he needed a little distraction to get ready for his record-release party the next day.”

Spears had always heard rumors of his cheating in the past and had seen photos of the aspiring rapper with other women, but apparently catching him in the act was the last straw.

Meanwhile, Britain’s Grazia magazine reports that 24-year-old Spears has turned to ex-lover JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE to cope with the breakdown of her second marriage. It has been claimed that Spears was making tearful phone calls to Timberlake even before she filed for divorce from Federline last week.

A source told the publication, “Justin said Britney has called him crying a number of times about her relationship with Kevin. She has gone through an excruciating time. It’s very sad. She doesn’t want anybody to feel sorry for her or see her as a victim. She has been trying for months to make it work for the sake of her children.”

Grazia magazine also claims that 28-year-old Federline is trying his best to win Spears back. A source tells the tabloid, “Kevin spent last week begging Britney to take him back. Kevin is stunned and he's been crying. He said he would do anything to get Britney back. He knows he's nothing if he doesn't have her in his life and realizes he has made a major mistake."

The source added, "He sent flowers and chocolates to Britney, but she asked an assistant to put them somewhere where she wouldn't have to look at them. He's also left voice messages, singing her love poems, but Britney hasn't replied."

Contrary to those reports, Us Weekly offers a new take on how Federline is taking the break up. According to the reports, rapper-wannabe Federline took out his Sharpie marker and left behind a ‘hate’ note on the shower door of his dressing room at the House of Blues in Chicago, where he performed November 8.

The message, allegedly written the day after Spears filed for divorce, reads:

“Today I’m a free man
Ladies look out
F*ck a wife
Give me my kids B*tch!
--Kevin Federline”

K-Fed also reportedly launched a bitter attack on his estranged wife during a concert on Sunday night - by screaming out "F*ck Britney' and giving the finger to the popstar.

The British Daily Star newspaper reports that the rapper was playing at The Norva in Virginia when he made the foul-mouthed gesture.

JETER IN 7TH HEAVEN
November 20, 2006

The New York Post is reporting that actress JESSICA BIEL is dating baseball superstar DEREK JETER. The ‘7th Heaven’ star and the Yankee shortstop reportedly enjoyed a night out in L.A. on Tuesday. According to a spy, the couple were spotted in a corner of hot club Hyde, "laughing and giggling together."

At one point, Biel –- who was voted Esquire's "sexiest woman alive" in 2005 -- went to the restroom and three beautiful girls quickly scurried over to chat with Jeter. But as soon as the 24-year-old Biel returned, he put all his attention on her. The pair then left together.

Jeter is no stranger to dating famous beauties -- he has previously been romantically linked to MARIAH CAREY, SCARLETT JOHANSSON and MTV VJ VANESSA MINNILLO.

SHANNA SAYS PARIS HAS HERPES
November 20, 2006

Former beauty queen SHANNA MOAKLER claims that her nemesis PARIS HILTON has a sexual disease.

Moakler -- the estranged wife of ‘Blink 182’ drummer TRAVIS BARKER -- made the sneering remarks about Hilton’s sexual health after being quizzed about her feelings towards 'The Simple Life' star.

Moakler told website X17, "All I have to say is don't forget to take your Valtrex, Paris." For your information, Valtrex is an anti-herpes medication.

The feuding between Hilton and Moakler, a former Miss USA, began in September when the hotel heiress was spotted kissing Barker.

In early October, the two women were then involved in a fist fight with the blonde heiress filing a police report alleging that Moakler punched her in the jaw and screamed obscenities at her in Los Angeles' Hyde nightclub.

Moakler told police that Hilton's ex-boyfriend, STAVROS NAIRCHOS, threw a drink at her and pushed her down some stairs.

In related news, comedian TINA FEY has been slamming Hilton's hosting appearance on 'Saturday Night Live' and went as far as to calling the heiress a “piece of sh*t.”

Fey told radio DJ HOWARD STERN, "Paris was a nightmare! She took herself super-seriously and wouldn't let anyone poke fun at her at all."

The ‘30 Rock’ star then attacked the socialite's artificial beauty, saying, "Strands of her gross Barbie hair were found all over the set. Close up, she actually looks like a transvestite."

According to Fey, Hilton even asked the show’s producers to write a skit so she could play JESSICA SIMPSON, because as Hilton put it, "I hate her", "she's fat".

Fey also said that when Hilton became frustrated with the show's writers she would "lock herself away in her dressing room".

BRITNEY PORN EXISTS
November 20, 2006

According to MSNBC, porn mogul DAVID HANS SCHMIDT claims that he was offered the alleged BRITNEY SPEARS sex tape the day after her shocking divorce from KEVIN FEDERLINE was announced.

Schmidt -- who has become famous in the sex tape industry by peddling X-rated footage of Hollywood stars including COLIN FARRELL, PARIS HILTON, DUSTIN DIAMOND and JAMIE FOXX on the internet -- has said he is sure the tape exists.

Schmidt is quoted as saying, "Two days after Britney filed for divorce I was contacted by an individual who indicated that he had a digital video of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline having sex. This gentleman knew enough names and identified enough parties involved to indicate that the tape could exist!"

It is believed the sex tape footage was filmed before the couple were married in 2004. The porn peddler predicts the tape, if released, will be the biggest selling adult movie of all time. Schmidt boasted, "This tape would smash Paris Hilton's sex tape sales like an Oreo cookie!"

The hotel heiress's tape 'One Night In Paris' made over $50 million and Schmidt believes Spears’ XXX video will make $200 million.

In related news, News of the World newspaper claims that Federline was offered $50 million dollars for the rights to a four-hour sex tape made with Spears.

Federline has allegedly vowed to sell the explicit marathon sex video unless Spears agrees to his demands. A source says, "He has told Britney she could comply with his demands otherwise the whole world will see her having sex."

According to the newspaper, “Britney, 24, fears the raunchy footage will destroy her wholesome image unless she caves in to his demands for a £16 million ($30 million US) payoff and custody of their children SEAN PRESTON, one, and JAYDEN JAMES, eight weeks. Federline, 28, has bragged to pals that his X-rated tape shows the ‘Oops, I Did It Again!’ singer performing a series of explicit sex acts. The home-made video is believed to show the naked couple enjoying an uninhibited range of love-making and sexual games.” An insider claims that the tape was made during the first weeks of their relationship two years ago when they were holed up in one of the exclusive bungalows at the Beverly Hills Hotel in Los Angeles.

The source close to K-Fed said, “At the time the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They did nothing all day but have sex—and play the odd game of chess. They were insatiable and they believed they would be together forever.”

The source also told the publication, "It makes Paris Hilton's homemade video look like a Disney cartoon. This footage is dynamite and Kevin knows it.”

TYSON’S NEW CAREER
November 20, 2006

All Headline News reports that former Heavyweight champion “IRON” MIKE TYSON has found a new career –- as a male escort. Hollywood madam HEIDI FLEISS has recruited the ex-boxing champ to work as a hooker at her male brothel in Nevada. Heidi’s Stud Farm will reportedly feature the 40-year-old Tyson when it opens its doors next year.

Heidi said, “I told him, ‘You’re going to be my big stallion.’ It’s every man’s fear that their girlfriend will go for Mike Tyson.”

Tyson -– who’s also a convicted rapist -- can’t wait to get into his new job and please a few ladies. He explained, “I don’t care what any man says, it’s every man’s dream to please every woman - and get paid for it.”

SURVIVOR’S PORN PAST
November 20, 2006

As the current season of CBS’s ‘Survivor:Cook Island’ winds down – Reality Blurred website has uncovers a scandalous porn past that may haunt one of the show’s favorite contestants.

The website recently reported that OSCAR “OZZIE” LUSTH -- the last Latino and one of the favored to win it all –- has appeared in an episode of Playboy TV’s Foursome.

Ozzie’s episode has him involved in a foursome with two women and another man. Clips of his escapades are available online and show Lusth receiving oral sex from one actress while later enjoying a hardcore sex scene with both women.

Lusth says later during the episode of the show, “I blew my load in her mouth like she told me to, because that’s how she likes it.”

VAL PREFERS OPRAH OVER NICOLE
November 20, 2006

Life Style Extra reports that veteran actor VAL KILMER wants to bed TV Host OPRAH WINFREY.

The 'Batman Forever' star confessed that if he was given the choice he would pick the full-figured talks show host over skinny star NICOLE RICHIE every time.

When posed with the strange question, Kilmer gushed, “I would choose Oprah, any day of the week. Sorry, Nicole."

The 46-year-old star is notorious for romancing a string of Hollywood beauties including CHER, CINDY CRAWFORD, MICHELLE PFEIFFER, DARYL HANNAH and ELLEN BARKIN.

BORAT GETS BEATEN
November 20, 2006

The British Sun newspaper reports that comedian SACHA BARON COHEN received a beaten in New York after a prank backfired.

According to the publication, 35-year-old Cohen and ‘House’ actor HUGH LAURIE were on their way to a bar in the Big Apple when the spontaneous comedian decided to play a prank as his infamous alter ego, Borat. The comedian -- who created the fake sexist and racist character, Borat -- went up to a stranger and said, “I like your clothings. Are nice! Please may I buying? I want have sex with it.”

The bewildered and angry man didn’t recognize who Cohen was and didn’t get the joke -- so he punched the actor in the face. The disgruntled man reportedly kept punching Cohen in the face as the British comedian pleaded for him to stop.

Cohen was later rescued by Laurie – who appeared with him on Saturday Night Live that week.

A source said, “Sacha couldn’t resist playing the fool as Borat, but picked on the wrong person. I guess this guy thought he was being attacked by someone unstable and lashed out. Sacha is very lucky he didn’t get a much worse beating.”

Cohen was not seriously injured.