While you might be looking for a funny girlfriend to spend your young age in the most agreeable way possible, without any further intentions, there are a lot of girls obsessed with white frocks and catching bouquets out there. And they want you! But if you learn how to detect them, you are saved! Check the characteristics of an aspiring bride...
1. Once a woman gets in a marrying mindset, she gives off desperation vibes.
It's your second or third date together, and the lovely lady can't stop loudly expressing her satisfaction with "how wonderful we two get together, aren't we?" That's a clear alarm signal.
What's in her mind: She interprets your kindness (you agree with everything she says, even admit you like romantic movies though you are more a thriller fan, you seem the most mannered guy in the world) as instant love. You know it can't be that. It's just a classic behavior every guy adopts before reaching the girl's bed (room). But she already sees you as the love of her life, the father of her future children and, of course, the husband "to hold and to cherish".
Stop her: If you continue to encourage her thinking thread (by showing her "Mr. Perfect behavior"), you're as good as married! Disagree from time to time, make her see you are a pretentious man, in two words: disappoint her!
2. She struggles to get that (in)famous engagement ring. There are a lot of ways she can do that. She stops in front of jewelry shops and admires some of the rings exhibited there "Oh, I just love sapphires!" (that's to tell you exactly what kind of ring she would like to wear). She tries it on, then, apparently as joke, makes you try it on your small finger (in fact she's showing you how to buy her a ring without spoiling the surprise). There's that funny thing about women and rings: on one hand, she would buy personally the ring (with your credit card, of course) because she has this intuition that only in this way she would get the one she liked, on the other, she dreams of the romantic moment where you make the ring appear from your pocket or from a cream cake (with the risk of swallowing it or losing a tooth) and thus, show some spontaneity.
What's in her mind: The ring is the ultimate evidence that you're serious about the two of you. She needs it! "If he gave me a ring, he must be ready to make me his wife!" It's a kind of general truth like... "I think, so I exist". As soon as she gets her ring she will call a girl meeting to show it (she knows the girls will very much admire her for the victory (one more man down!).
Stop her: Play the stupid. You don't understand her attempts (when she shows you a ring, you admire a tie pin). For God's sake: don't give her a reason to announce her family you're engaged or you'll have no turning back.
3. She, all of a sudden, becomes a very passionate cook. It's like: yesterday she barely knew how to fry chips, today she's preparing Tsatziki salad. Most of the girls hate spending time in the kitchen because that would make them victims of mysoginism. Somehow, she overcame rapidly this fear.
What's in her mind: Who hasn't heard of the famous saying "For a man, love passes through his stomach"? She has certainly heard it, so now she tries to conquer your heart through your stomach. If her food is tasty, you'll see her in a different, better light. And you have to admit that the savor of a woman's food has serious effects on your judgement. It's like a sound of independence: "I can stop depending on my mum because I no longer need her food."
Stop her: Cut her enthusiasm by recommending a good cooking course or refusing to eat her meals (say politely that you have already eaten).
4. She invites you to move with her, her place. She wouldn't normally give up space and intimacy unless she wanted to keep you under observation. It's a surer move than waiting for you to propose moving together.
What's in her mind: Once you're on her territory 24/7, she can freely demonstrate her housekeeping abilities. First she'll offer to do your laundry, then to iron your shirts, and so on, until she makes herself indispensable. Hopefully you'll realize how much you need her and her services and decide to ask her marry you.
Stop her: You have to resist the temptation of getting hitched at least three or four months. Eventually she will get back to her occupations prior to your moving in with her. When you'll have to beg her iron your trousers, it's a sign that she has given up the hope of becoming your wife.
5. She abandons her friends in your favor. If before knowing you she used to be a party animal, part of a bigger gang of single girls, now she barely speaks to them on the phone. Oh, if you take her out, no problem! But meeting a bunch of girls without you... can't be!
What's in her mind: This move is not a conscious one, so don't blame the girl. But take care! No woman deserts her friends unless she's convinced that the man deserves this sacrifice (which can be read "unless she thinks he's the one"). Only when you're very much in love with someone you forget your past social life and dedicate it to your newly found "ideal" partner.
Stop her: Don't let her turn into your slave! Explain you still want to go out exclusively with your pals, so she'd better follow your example.
6. She plays with other people's kids and says she would like to have one of herself. Attention: her biological clock is ticking. This means she's looking for a father. It wouldn't be a problem for any man if she didn't want the father of her kid to be her full time husband too!
What's in her mind: What is the best and fastest method to make a man think of marriage? Telling him: "Darling, you're going to be a father!" A perverted woman mind can plan this, so beware! Always use a condom! One you kept your eyes on and couldn't possibly have been "accidentally" stung. Well, it sounds a little paranoiac, but sometimes you have to behave over carefully.
Stop her: Telling her you don't like kids (or can't have one) may not be such a bad idea. This will change her mind for a while.
Conclusions
Girls feel the need of stability sooner than guys. They are not to be blamed though. There are still parents who educate their girls to think the purpose of their lives is marriage. If you meet a girl like this either you take her or leave her. You won't be able to make her happy until you pop the question.
Avoid participating at weddings with your girlfriends. Weddings have such a bad effect on girls. They're like epidemics. Once they see a bride, they want to become one.
Don't ask her to be your wife just to satisfy your curiosity: she would or she wouldn't agree. Even if you specify it was a joke and she tells you she didn't take it otherwise, you can be sure she will always remember the discussion and ask you from time to time (once a day) when the two of you will become one.
If she was one second smarter than you, I can't tell you anything else, but "Long live the bride and the groom (that's you)!" Women sure are able to twist your minds if you let them!
