Faking It #2: Wealth!

Have you ever wondered what you can do to impress her? The chances are there are lots you can do, but the odds are good you don’t know how to do these things. So what to do? This article will examine how you can fake your way through situations, so that you can impress that special someone. Faking can come in particularly handy when you are in a new or short-term relationship, but even long-term relationships can get a boost form some well-timed forgeries. We will also give you examples of when to fake your way through something and why, as well as the pros and cons of making certain choices. So keep reading and get ready to fake your way through pretending you are wealthy. Remember: imitation is the most sincere form of flattery!

Why Fake Being Rich In The First Place?
A lot of people like to pretend they have money in order to impress people who have no money, or they are trying to lure in people who do have money. The task of faking wealth is easier these days, due to the availability of brand names. You have to wear the right brands, know the right brands, and you definitely should know a lot about wine and scotch. The Internet can help you here, as you can bone up on all the things wealthy people appreciate (and can afford!) – like art, polo, yachting, etc.

Wealth Specific Faking Tips

Only buy brand names! Don’t be afraid to buy 2nd hand or from discount stores. Just don’t tell people where you got them or what you paid. Used clothing can be creepy, but a lot of upscale second-hand stores specialize in quality brands. Plus, people that can afford expensive brands tend to wear them only once or twice, so they are usually in excellent shape.
Magazines – Forbes, The New Yorker, The Economist. Magazines are cheap, informative, and will help you with the lingo and language of the wealthy.
Always lease, never buy. Electronics, cars, and apartments can all be had through leases. This is one of way of getting yourself to a better level of wealth without paying for it.
When in need, rent. You can always rent a luxury car for a night or two, which can be used to impress.
Taxis and limos. Why even own a car? Limos can be had for an hourly rate, and lots of people who live in cities walk rather than ride.
Trendy versus lesser know restaurants. Trendy, upscale restaurants cost a fortune. But up-and-coming restaurants tend to be more affordable, and will help to emphasize your coolness. The same goes for nightclubs and bands.
Get to know the little people. Forget the owner of the club – get to know the maitre de, serving staff, and the bouncers. Some well-placed tips can make all the difference at a club, and remembering their names is key.
Order off the menu. It looks impressive, and if the staff knows you they will be happy to do it.
Run tabs! Credit card maxed out? No problem. Your friends at the club will take care of you, since you have been tipping them and treating them right since day one.
Wine. Get to know one or two excellent red and white wines really well, and then be able to explain why they are worth drinking. Since she probably won’t know the difference, select a wine that has a modest price. If you are in a place that only has expensive wine, order a drink.

What To Fake & Why

Cubic Zirconium replaces real diamonds.
Large and small bills – wrap a couple of hundreds around a wad of ones, fives and tens.
Watches and sunglasses– there are many fakes out there. They may not last as long as the originals, but they are cheap and disposable.
Car keys. You can buy Porsche car keys (and other luxury brands) on online auction sites.
Tan. Only in the winter. It is a visual way of stating you just got back from (and can afford) a winter vacation.
Cell phone. Have your friends call you during your date, and make it sound like you are closing a deal.
Cologne. On your way out for the night or on your way home form work, stop by a department store and ‘sample’ an expensive cologne.
Accent. Faking an accent is one way of adding instant class, but how you speak is more important. Wealthy people tend to be well educated, so sounding educated is key. Don’t try and pull off an Oxford accent in England, but you might want to give it a go in New York.
Celebrity. You can hire people to come and ask for your autograph, scream, take your picture, etc. All the things that would happen to a real celebrity, which might be important if you are faking that you are wealthy due to a career in film.

Career
Faking your career is not a good long-term strategy, but a lot of people fall back on this fake when they know they are getting involved in a short-term situation (for example, a holiday in Mexico). If you are at a resort for 1-2 weeks, then you can easily get away with faking a more glamorous career for yourself. The trick here is to come up with your fake before you head south. Then stick with the plan! Don’t tell everyone you meet a different story. Pick one career and run with it, but make sure you know enough to withstand gentle scrutiny. A good way of avoiding questions is to mention how much you needed this vacation to get away from work, which tells your new friend(s) that it’s the last thing you want to discuss.

Final Thoughts
No matter what it is you decide to fake, just keep in mind a few simple rules. First, know why you are doing it because a focused fake will yield better results. Second, know when to quit. At some point you might have to come clean, so don’t dig yourself in too deep. Finally, come up with an exit strategy. Since you might get exposed, you need to have a contingency plan. And that plan could be another fake! Be creative!