It’s Saturday night and you and your girlfriend have planned an evening out with a group of friends. Your goals for the evening are simple – have a great time, try not to get arrested. Your girlfriend’s goals, however, are not as admirable and her mad flirting is making you mad! Is it possible to date a superflirt, or is her behaviour a sign of worse things to come?
After spending a total of three hours on her hair, makeup and outfit, your girlfriend is finally ready to leave the house. You are unimpressed by the wait but are excited to see her come out looking like Cindy Crawford. When she steps out of her room looking like that cheap stripper you (secretly) saw in the country bar last month, it takes everything in you to keep from laughing – or is it crying? While the prospect of her looking like a complete whore is somewhat exciting to you, her intention to dress up like one for a night out with your friends is entirely horrifying. To make things worse, when you offer her a jacket she accuses you of being protective and insecure. Over the course of the evening, you notice other things that suggest she is a superflirt. She acts as if you do not exist, at least not as her boyfriend. She has touched, danced with, rubbed or hugged every guy within her range, even those she did not know at the start of the evening. Though you are quite sure she is going home with you, you expect she has received phone numbers from at least 3 other guys. Okay, it’s official – you are dating a superflirt.
There are a variety of differences between social, friendly, outgoing and harmless flirtatious women and superflirts. Superflirts do not just want attention, they need it in order to function in a social environment. The only way superflirts know how to communicate with the opposite sex is to solicit as much attention as possible, preferably sexual. No man is off limits – strange men on the street, drunk men at the bar, her girlfriends’ boyfriends, and all of her boyfriends’ friends. A superflirt treats flirting as a sport, and it is one which she rarely loses. So how can you tell if your woman is a superflirt and how can you deal with it?
A superflirt may travel around in the body of a normal woman most of the time. Her outrageously flirtatious behaviour may only visibly emerge after several drinks or in larger groups of people. But there will always be signs of her superflirting potential. She may constantly pick up the phone when you’re on it and start talking dirty to your friends. Or she may constantly talk to her girlfriends about hot guys when you’re in the room. When you are out for dinner she’ll make eyes at every man in sight, then act surprised when a bottle of champagne is delivered to her. She has a history of losing girlfriends over guys. These are all subtle, though important, signs of a superflirt.
If you decide to try to form a serious relationship with a superflirt, you may be in for somewhat of a challenge. The future of the relationship will rest on her awareness and sensitivity to her own flirting habits. When you tell her that this behaviour hurts and angers you, does she accept this or brush it off as jealousy? Will she try to make an effort to curb her behaviour, or is it a “take it or leave it” situation? The first step towards establishing a relationship with a superflirt is her own recognition of her habits. Denial will spell trouble for you down the line. It is also important to recognize any overreactions that you may have to her behaviour. Try to decide what you can deal with, and what you have chosen to get into.
Make sure that you are aware of the difference between a superflirt with a behaviour problem, and an overly social woman who enjoys a lot of attention. A superflirt will be difficult to maintain a serious relationship with because her behaviour may be hurtful to you and each other. An outgoing woman may be independent, socially motivated and confident in herself, but these can all be positive attributes, as long as you understand them. The difficulty comes in knowing the difference between the two types of women, and two types of flirting. Flirting can be an innocent way of communicating, or it can be an obvious way of getting laid. The following situations will help you to decipher the truth:
Situation A
You and your girlfriend are on your way to rent a movie. A car full of young fraternity boys pulls up next to you. They are smiling, hooting and hollering at your girlfriend through her half open window. A superflirt would drop the window down and make as much of herself visible as possible. She would engage the boys as a group, even asking them where they are going or what they are doing later. Then she would laugh as you drive away and brush off the incident as a silly carload full of jocks.
Situation B
You are at a pub with your girlfriend and several colleagues from work. Your girlfriend is slightly left out of the office banter and strikes up a conversation with a stranger at the neighbouring table. Within minutes, you and everyone else at your table hear the man ask for her number. A superflirt would give it to him and carry on the conversation, though she would later explain how she changed the last digit, or planned on screening his calls.
Situation C
You are on a romantic moonlight stroll through the park when you encounter a good looking man with a dalmation puppy. You make a comment about the cute dog and hope to keep walking. A superflirt would melt and spend the next hour chatting with the man and rubbing his puppy’s belly while you stand in the background, occasionally trying to interrupt by looking at your watch.
If any or all of these situations sound familiar to you, you likely have your hands full with a superflirt. Her superflirty habits will be hard to contain, and even harder to ignore. So unless you plan on spending every minute alone together, expect that her made flirting will make you mad. You can choose to enlist in some anger management classes and hope she will change her ways. Though you might be better off to dump her superflirty ass and hold out for Cindy Crawford after all.
