Hot Holiday Lovin'

The best part of going on a holiday is that you will generally be going places where others are on vacation as well. Not only are people more willing to try new things when they are on holidays, many of them feel that they can be a completely different person while they are away. Stripped of their daily straight jackets, they are free to be the person they wished they were, carefree and spontaneous, even if only for a week or two.

And this is why it is so much easier to get laid while you are on vacation. First of all, people usually want a break from themselves and are willing to go a little crazy. Second, people tend to partake in more of the social lubricants that promote often ill-advised promiscuity while they are on vacation. Third, people are already wearing next to nothing and feeling good about themselves, with their newly tanned bodies and recently-shed weight from pre-vacation regimens. And finally, it is expected. Even girls get asked if they got laid when they get back from their vacation hot spots.

Where to Go
In general, try to hit places that are known as singles havens. I recently went to Maui, all stocked up on prophylactics and personal lubrication products only to find out that 75% of the people there are over 60, 22% are newlyweds, and the other 3% are locals working the various tourist traps who only have a few minutes in which to desperately try to charm you for a gratuity and possibly a smarmy come-on with a suggestion about where to meet later. So, do your homework.

All-inclusives can be good and bad. First, most of them have the nightclubs and restaurants built right in, so you don’t have to go far to party and you don’t have to go far to find your bed, or hers. Plus, the booze is free. On the down side, the anonymity factor is low in all-inclusives, and if you are looking to hump and dash, you may very well find yourself dining uncomfortably beside the very resentful and hurt young lady for the rest of the week.

The Moves
In order to get what you came for on your holiday (and I’m not talking about the cheap duty-free rum), you have to understand the mindset of the vacationing woman. While many ladies dream of a vacation full of sweet loving just as much as you do, whether you get them into bed has a lot to do with context for them. Context, you ask?

Your chances of picking up a woman has to do with two contexts: the context of her vacation and the context of your approach. First, the context of her vacation is very important and will impact greatly on your chances. Is this a vacation with a bunch of single girlfriends or she with one attached friend?

This has to do with the very different mating rituals of men and women. It goes like this: if a guy wants to get lucky, he takes his wing man and if there is even a 2% chance of him scoring, he is free to ditch the wing man in a hot minute. The ramifications he will face will be minor compared to the rewards if he succeeds, probably something like:

“ Dude, you ditched me.”

You give him a knowing smile. He grudgingly says, “Ya?’

You respond, “Ya, man.”

High five and the two of you go for beers. Because your friend knows that he would do it right back if he had the opportunity.

As a general rule, when a woman goes out with a wing girl, the ramifications of ditching her the second she gets some guy’s attention are lengthy, painful and, unless you guarantee her the best lay of her life, in no way worth the risk that you are going to be some jerk, in bed or otherwise. Unless you have someone for her friend, of course…

If you find a girl out to have a good time, then you are going to have to gauge the context of how she wants to get laid. Now, don’t get ahead of yourself, that’s not what I meant. More specifically, how she wants to be seduced. Many women on holidays are out to get lucky, pure and simple, but this is offset by the fact that EVERY guy on holidays wants to get laid. If you do the math, this means that the effort lies with you boys.

Now there are the girls who are happy with doing the seducing if they see something they like. But, let’s face it, everyone loves to be the seduced. And every girl wants a little romance, even in their one night stands. The possibilities here are endless, but they start with buying her drinks (or fetching her drinks, if they are free). At the heart of chivalry is the fact that the lady always, always comes first (that should be the theme of the whole evening if you want her to be your holiday booty call).

Do all of the cheesy shit you have seen in movies. No matter how cynical the lady, we all believe that we deserve, nay, are owed that kid of attention. The possibilities are endless; a moonlight walk on the beach (for the love of god, unless you have a sand free blanket, do not expect the deed on the beach—that’s one of those “great in theory, painful in practice” type scenarios), late-night skinny dipping, fresh fruit and champagne in your room or hers.

Keep in mind that a lady’s soul is especially open to romance on a vacation, and that things you might do that could be considered cheesy at home will take on a magical sheen in her mind’s eye. Not only will you score, but if you blow her mind before you ravage her, you could very well have a sure thing for the rest of the week.