How To Tell If She Wants You

You're not sure how bad she wants you. She's been throwing you sideways glances for the last half and hour from across the bar, you've approached her, now what? Sound familiar? There are lots of ways to tell if a woman wants you, it's all in the body language. After reading this article you'll be able to tell within the first five minutes if the woman on the receiving end of your charm is down with it, or if she's the type of fish you should just throw back into the sea.

Before you approach a woman there is one crucial thing you need to know, if you come on too strong you're going to scare her away. Women do like to be approached by men, just not accosted by them. This means don't grab any part of her body as a form of saying hello, don't lean over her drooling, don't talk to her at such a close range that you risk spitting on her as you slur out your s's. You don't want to be the guy she remembers at the end of the night, laughing about you with her friends. Or worse yet, you may be pummelled by her boyfriend who has witnessed the whole escapade from afar. The benefit of making a good first impression is this, if she's already seeing someone, chances are good that she has a number of hot single friends who she'd "just love to introduce you to."

So, you've singled her out amongst all the others at the club. The best time to get her attention is when she's alone; when her friends have migrated to the dance floor ("Why is someone as stunning as you sitting here all alone?"), while she's waiting in line for a drink ("Wow, it's crowded in here! You come here often?), or even at the coat check on the way out (turn around without a word, smile, gesture to take her ticket, take her ticket and grab her coat and yours together). After the initial open-ended question (leaving her to answer with more than a yes or no), offer her your name and why you're there. If she responds to your gesture it's a good sign! If she gives you the cold shoulder, hey, it's her loss.

If you've asked a woman out and are struggling for ideas on what to do, try one of the following six dates. Each date has a theme, and each offers numerous opportunities to assess how the date is going through discretely analyzing her body language.

Date 1: Danger
The 'Danger Date' involves doing something that incorporates risk. This may be skydiving, racecar driving, white water rafting or some other extreme sport. The intent of this type of date is to bond with another person through trust. Also, adrenaline is sexy!

Date 2: Humour
The 'Humour Date' involves doing something fun, like going to see a stand up comedian, a funny movie or play. Laughter releases hormones that can improve your state of mind and comfort level. Laughter also exercises the body, helps to relax muscles and is a more often than not a positive response to a situation, a sign that she is relaxed and having a good time. On the other hand, if a person's laugh sounds contrived, then they may be forcing it out to please someone else. If a person smiles with their entire mouth and their teeth show, they are emitting a positive sign. On the other hand, if a person makes a tight-lipped smile, that is a bad sign, they are holding back.

Date 3: Novelty
The 'Novelty Date' stands for the type of date that is unique or innovative. The best thing to do on a date like this is something that neither of you have experienced before. Chances are that if you both have never done the event before (for example, mechanical bull riding at the local country bar) you will invent your own fun, creating a unique bond between the two of you. Moreover, the event can later become a great source of conversational inspiration for the next date, maybe a nice dinner, at a later time.

Date 4: Exercise
The 'Exercise Date' is another date that can releases endorphins into your body. Endorphins make people feel good, and when you feel good you have a better time. Exercise on a first date, or later date, may take place in the form of one on one basketball, roller bladding, beach volleyball, jumping on a trampoline or even working out together. The best time to assess your date's body language is when you both are resting. True body language is revealed when you are tired and either lying on the grass, sprawled on the sidelines or even waiting in line for a drink from the water fountain. When you speak, are your shoulders square (a good sign)? Or, is she facing partially away from you? Is there any interchange of touching or smiling initiated on her part (also good)?

Date 5: Challenge
The 'Challenge Date' refers to embarking on a task together in which a goal is to be fulfilled. In completing this single challenge together (making a cake from scratch, searching out items at a flea market, or even beating another couple at cards or pool) the two of you will feel closer to one another. It then becomes obvious whether you and your date have any chemistry as you partake in the challenge of the date. Are you having a good time? Is your date? Are you relaxed or tense? Are you laughing and making eye contact?

Date 6: Surprise
The 'Surprise Date' also works to release endorphins into the body, altering its chemistry to that feel good state. A surprise is stimulating when it happens, thus the whole picture becomes fixed in a person's (in this case your date's) memory. The surprise may be an unknown destination, a musical serenade by a violinist at dinner, or her name with a phrase flashed across the scoreboard at a sporting event. The essence of the surprise is that she has no idea it is coming (obviously) and that it is memorable. Why is this surprise different from others? Just make sure it is personal, fun and memorable.

Some tell tale signs that your date is going well may be expressed through her body language. Look for the following list of cues that your 'date chemistry' is bubbling:

1. There is synchrony in both of your actions. If you happen to notice that she picks her glass up at the same time as you do it means that she is unconsciously copying your moves. This is a positive sign that she's digging you. If you notice that you lean back in your chair after she has already done so, you're into her too. To test your theory, become conscious of your actions and watch for the mimicry, or synchrony, in her actions.

2. The position of her feet is also a cue in deciphering her body language. If her feet are pointing towards you, or pigeon toed, then it is a good sign that she likes you and all your charms. The easiest way to tell is to drop a napkin, "accidentally", at the dinner table and check out the position of her feet. If they are pointing your way, you're playing your cards right.

3. If she is spontaneously touching you, brushing you on the shoulder and so on, then you are in a very good position. If she's playing footsie with you under the table, you can stop reading this right now cause you don't need any more advice! The ball is in your court.

4. If you both are seated and you notice that she has extended her arms straight out, and her hands are resting on her knees, then what you are witnessing is a sign of submission and coyness. This is obviously a good thing. She's enjoying your company.

5. If she starts playing with her hair, curling it around her finger or flipping it behind her shoulder, you should note that this is a sort of primping or preening. This means that she cares about what she looks like and she is coyly trying to draw your attention to her face. The other type of hair flipping woman is the constant attention seeker. This is the type of woman that flips her hair so much that we think she may have spontaneous whiplash. Watch out for this woman, she may be a man-eater. But hey, if that's your thing "" go for it!

Body language is not only a great tool to assess where you stand within the first five minutes of an encounter with the opposite sex, but also works as a life raft in longer term relationships as well. If you happen to be involved in a tiff with your woman, try assessing her body language to get the real scoop on what's going on! Simply being conscious of other people's body language will open your eyes to a world of conversation without words.