The kiss is a language all its own. Its meaning is dependent on the context, the
relationship, and even the culture in which it is shared. Two men kissing in Italy can mean something much different than two men kissing in San Francisco. In order to read your woman, you are going to have to learn to read her kisses. While this takes some time and experience, here is a starter list that will cover the basic kissing repertoire for girls.
The Cheek: It goes something like this: you go in for a kiss, she goes in for a hug, and you end up getting a mouthful of cheek. The cheek is generally a dating phenomenon. The cheek is given at the end of a mediocre date. If she agrees to another date, the Cheek could just be some of her baggage surfacing (panicking about getting into another relationship, etc), and she could just want to take it slow. More likely than not, however, is that the “I really like you as a friend” conversation is immanent. The Cheek is the ploy of someone who isn’t incredibly attracted to you, and maybe soon be followed by the Kiss Off.
The Kiss Off: The Kiss Off is one of the most telling kisses in that it isn’t even exactly a kiss. Where the kiss should go, it has been replaced by an arm squeeze, a hug (see: The Cheek) or any other dismissive action that signals “I am not interested in you, and I want that to be perfectly clear without having to feel like an asshole by having to say it aloud.”
The Still Mad: The Still Mad is a relationship kiss that can mimic the Cheek. When you get into a fight with your lady, and you think everything is all right and you are going to be able to go in for some sweet make up sex, the Still Mad will stop you dead in your tracks. You go in for a soft, loving one, and she gives you anything ranging from the Cheek to the Tight Lip. Where you go from here really depends on what kind of mood you’re in. You can ask her if she’s still mad, but you’ll have to endure a few “no, I’m not mad” bluffs leading to a rehashing of everything you thought you had just resolved. Sometimes it’s so much more appealing to just go to bed mad.
The Comfortable Phase: The Comfortable Phase is the kiss that signals that your relationship has sailed through the initial lusty honeymoon phase where you want to spend all your time together, preferably naked. Instead of the lingering kisses in the morning, you now would rather wait until the other brushes their teeth. When you part or you see each other after an entire day’s separation, you give each other a quick, warm peck. This kiss may seem a little perfunctory, but really, it signals that you have reached new a comfort level in your relationship. If you want to maintain some of that daily lust, all it takes is letting those pecks linger and paring them with a squeeze.
Sex Traffic: In many relationships, it is the man who is often the instigator of sexual relations. The reason for this is that women are taught (yes, still) that they should let the man make the moves, and even taught that we shouldn’t make it easy for them even if we want it as badly. Also, we know chances are that you’ll instigate something as long as there is a warm body beside you, so why should we bother? If you aren’t already coming on to us, you must be dead tired. Women, unlike men, are not used to being told “no” when they want some, and do not take to the rejection well at all. When going in for the prize, there are three responses you are likely to get: the Stop Light, the Grudging Green Light, and the Enthusiastic Green Light.
If you are getting the Stop Light, you will be lucky to get a kiss at all. She can read the signs that you are going to make your move and by the time she reaches the bed, she will have every “no” signal in place: the ugly pyjamas, the lack of eye contact. If you do get a kiss, it will most likely be followed by the Back, which you shouldn’t mistake for an interest in a little butt play.
The Grudging Green Light is the practiced I-don’t-wanna-but-I-will. If you keep pressing on after all signs point to Stop Light, the best you can hope for is the Yellow, followed by the Grudging Green. The Yellow is a holding pattern that begins with a little neck kissing, that may be pleasing enough that she won’t want you to stop, but still has not convinced her to go all the way. You can easily tell the difference between the Stop Light and the Yellow holding pattern. In the Stop Light scenario, the peck you got is all you’re getting, and she will tell you so. If she doesn’t tell you to get away form her, then you can consider yourself in the Yellow holding pattern. The Grudging Green is signaled by when she actually turns around and kisses you back. The turn around is your Green Light, but do not forge ahead foolishly until you get the turn around. When in the Yellow Holding Pattern, contact could be suspended at any moment.
The Enthusiastic Green is just that. You’ll know it when you feel its hand on your crotch.
The Drunk Slut: Now this is a fun one. The Drunk Slut may not be the best kiss you have ever had—it often involves crushing lips, boozy breath, perhaps too much saliva and an enthusiastic tongue—but to make up for its lack of technique, nudity and some dirty drunk sex generally follow. You can look forward to the Drunk Slut when your lady has been out on the town with her girlfriends, or maybe even when she’s been out on the town with you. If you would like to try and set up a Dirty Slut scenario, the tools are: booze, multiple comments whispered in her ear about how unbelievably sexy she is, the occasional gentle hand running down her back, touching her neck, touching her side. The trick is to be sensual, without being necessarily sexual. I know this is a hard line for guys, but the key is to seem like you are just appreciating her without expecting sex in return. Nothing drives a woman crazy with lust like someone telling her how mind-blowingly sexy she is outside of the bedroom..
Women have a million different ways of trying to communicate with men. It will take some time and some mixed signals before you figure them all out, but it sure is fun when you start to recognize the good ones.
