Ripper Fights:Are Visits to the Strip Club Causing You Relationship Problems?

Do your regular visits to see the rippers anger your girlfriend? Have you tried to explain to her that it’s not a big deal and that you only love her? Well, you are not alone. Lots of guys go to strippers for social events like bachelor parties, for example, and lots of women are bothered by this. Is your girlfriend like that? Does she get upset when you head to the strip club? Here’s some insight, from his side and hers, on why she’s getting upset and how you can quell her anger to help her understand that you are not lusting after other women when you go to strip clubs.
He Says…
For most men, going to see strippers isn’t a big deal; it’s just a different venue to sit around and drink beer while hanging out with friends. So, it’s often difficult for men to understand why women get so upset about their frequent or infrequent visits to the ripper bar. After all, going to a strip club is a hands-off experience; it’s about “atmosphere” and often, a group of guys will only pay partial attention to the naked women writhing up and down poles. Going to a strip club is just the same as going out to a pub with your buddies; you want to hang out with your buddies in a social atmosphere and sometimes the venue just happens to have strippers.
She Says…
If getting together with your friends is all you want to do, why do you have to do it at a strip club? Why not get together at a friend’s house or a pub or a restaurant? When guys go to strip clubs, it makes their girlfriends feel inadequate and jealous. We start to wonder if you fantasize about having sex with the strippers you’ve been ogling rather than with your own girlfriend. Why isn’t seeing your girlfriend naked enough? Wouldn’t you be jealous if she always went to see other men naked?
He Says…
Yes, there are other times when guys go to strip clubs strictly to look at the naked female form. But again, this doesn’t mean that guys are going to strip clubs to cheat on their girlfriends. Can strippers be a turn on? Of course they can! But that just means that when you get home from the strip club, you’ll be turned on and will want to get down with your girlfriend. And what’s wrong with that?
She Says…
If my boyfriend goes to see strippers and comes home wanting sex, it’s a total turnoff. I think that he should be able to get excited about sex by being with me and me alone. I don’t want him getting excited when he’s seen a bunch of trashy strippers naked; I assume that he’s thinking about them when he comes home, and I want him thinking about me when we are having sex.
He Says…
But guys aren’t thinking about the strippers. They are just turned on in general. It’s like watching a good porno and getting excited. We’re not fantasizing about having sex with the star of the movie; we’re just thinking about having sex period and that is a huge turn-on. And if my girlfriend got turned on by going to see male strippers, I would happily let her go. There’s nothing I would want more than a horny girlfriend coming home to rip my clothes off!
She Says…
That’s one area where men and women tend to differ. Men like to get visually turned on by nudity, but it’s not the same for lots of women. Going to male strippers is more comical than sexy most of the time, so it’s not a fair comparison. It’s exactly because men get turned on by the sight of naked female bodies that makes many women jealous. And think about the women who are dancing naked for you. That’s somebody’s sister or daughter or girlfriend. How would you like it if your girlfriend danced naked for other men?
He Says…
Yes, I guess a stripper is somebody’s girlfriend or sister, but that’s not what guys think about when they go to strip clubs. It’s just a naked woman who is making a living dancing naked. If she’s okay with it, who are we to question her morals? And of course I don’t want my girlfriend dancing naked for other men, but that’s why I’m not dating a stripper!
Reconciling the Differences
Is it possible to reconcile these common differences of opinion between men and women? Probably not. But you do need to talk to your girlfriend about this issue if it is causing problems in your relationship. First of all, if your girlfriend is vehemently opposed to you visiting strip clubs and you love her and want to avoid conflict, then the decision seems simple: stop frequenting strip clubs. You know that you aren’t missing out on much anyway.
On the other hand, if she’s just slightly bothered by this, then talk to her about why you go. Chances are good that you are simply going because your friends are going, and it’s a standard social outing that you enjoy. Explain that you are not cheating on her and that strip clubs are hands-off places anyway. It’s also important to tell her that she shouldn’t be jealous because there’s nothing to be jealous of.
Strippers are what they are and nothing more than that. Men don’t get to know strippers personally and there’s no intimacy between strippers and their customers. Even lap dances, while requiring close contact, are a crude version of intimacy. When you are with your girlfriend and can talk, make love, laugh and more, there is true intimacy. Simply seeing a woman naked, on the other hand, is the opposite of intimacy. While you may enjoy viewing her body, it’s doesn’t mean that you are turned on by her or want to have sex with her, and it’s important to let your girlfriend know that before an unnecessary fight about strippers ensues.