If you think you need to add some spice into the bedroom, then you may want to consider a little pre-planned cheating. Although the idea may seem radical at first, there are plenty of people out there who have healthy marriages and relationships who ‘swing’ all the time. Swinging, wife swapping, and threesomes have been around for eons, and for good reason. Lots of couples love each other passionately, but things in the bedroom tend to cool off after awhile. Rather than fooling around on each other, they resort to methods that involve each other in their extra-marital activities, so they can both get turned on together, rather than behind each other’s back. The purpose of this article is to discuss the negatives and positives of so-called cheating, so you can decide if this is an area you may want to explore with your significant other.
Positives
The main purpose of pre-planned extra-marital sex is not to hurt your partner; rather, it is to take your sex life to the next plateau. Your partner needs to understand that the main benefit of fooling around is to heighten and strengthen the relationship that the two of you have together. You are not trying to add a third party into their bedroom on a permanent basis, instead you are trying to give the bed a boost of high-octane fuel every now and then. Here is a list of many of the good things that will come from this new arrangement:
Knowing who you are with
- Rather than some sordid little one night stand with a stranger, you should make sure you know the person you are bringing into the bed. Male or female, this can be an acquaintance or another couple, people you know are disease-free and trustworthy.
Like-minded partners
- If you get involved with a swingers group, or maybe your neighbors, the odds are good you will be dealing with people that feel the same way you do. No one is going to try and steal away your partner, and vice versa. They feel the same way you do, and they have the same goals; spice up the marriage without any complications.
Excitement
- The beauty of this arrangement is that you and your partner are doing it together. Rather than having an affair behind her back and then telling your buddies about it, you can now share the experience and talk to each other about it. The talking about the experience will take your sex life to a level unlike any other, and will provide you both with hours of great sex, even when it is just the two of you.
Trying new things
- Swinging and swapping will also get you and your partner to try out new things, which will continue on when you are alone. Many couples may be to shy to bring up something crazy with each other, but having a third or fourth person act as a facilitator to the dark side will help to release the ‘kink’ in both of you.
Jealousy free sex
- Couples that love each other need not fear the green monster, because they know that the love they have will not be torn apart by having sex with other people. If there is any jealousy felt, it will be over appearance (larger penis, bigger breasts, etc.). However, that type of jealousy can be used to heighten the sexual pleasure, not diminish it.
Reaffirming your love
- The best part of fooling around together is that it can be very affirming. Knowing you are with the hottest woman in the room can be a total turn on, and reaffirms the choice you made to be with your lover. Being with other woman and men will only help you both to realize that you were made for each other, and that the other lovers are only an appetizer, not the main course.
Prioritize
- Having a new person(s) in bed with the two of you will help you both to realize how important you are to each other. The extra lover is there as a sex toy, and should be treated as such.
Negatives
The last thing you want to do is damage or destroy your relationship, so make sure you take note at some of the potential hazards with stepping out into the swinging side of life.
Do it together
- Just because your woman has agreed to try this idea out does not give you the green light to cheat on her behind her back. You need to play by the same rules, and make sure you never blur the line between a healthy swing and a secret affair.
Remember who you love
- The last thing you want to do is make your partner insecure, so make sure you remember who it is you love and why you are doing this. Even if you are with someone who is better looking and sexier, at the end of the day you are going home with the one you love. Make sure that your partner feels extra special, particularly when you first start doing the swing.
Choosing your lovers
- Anytime you introduce someone new to the bedroom, do it with care. There are only two routes to go here – an organized swingers club, or with people you know. There are downsides to both. Friends could become enemies if problems occur, or things might become awkward after a few years. Casual strangers from a club may not be the kind of people you want to associate with, or they may try and cross the line between a casual fling and a serious relationship.
Damage control
- You risk the chance of creating an element of insecurity in your lover’s mind. She may start to worry that you are only doing this to fool around, instead of trying to help the relationship. Once that seed starts to sprout, you need to snuff it out before it takes root.
Jealousy
- Obviously jealousy is a factor, since you are going to be having sex with new partners. In small doses, jealousy can be very healthy. In larger quantities, jealousy will kill any relationship. Remember, you are doing this to make things better, not worse. Make sure you always pay the most attention to the one you love, not some stranger.
