Introduction to Sex Talk
There are two types of
sex scenarios that can happen. The first is our animalistic nature to just
have sex right then and there and then there is the spur of the moment kind of
sex. The other is when you set the hormones aside and enjoy
sex as a couple. Today we are going to take a brief look at
sex talk when you are enjoying, exploring, and expanding as a couple.
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rc="hotarticles/sex_talk_couple.jpg" height="300" width="200" align="right" border="1" />For many couples, communication outside of the bedroom is
easy, but we all know when both of you are undresses something
changes. It seems that when we are in our birthday suits,
we tend to put up a wall and instead of talking, we turn
off the lines of communication. This is especially noticeable
for the shy introverted people of the world. But realize
that even if you are bold, you can also benefit from the
words of wisdom outlined below.
Everyone knows that through words you can educate but
did you some women they can even orgasm by imagining what
their partners are describing to them? Well if you want
to learn how to use words more effectively to turn on
your lover keep reading.
Sex Talk - Expressing Your Desires
Communication is the main goal when it comes to sex talk.
Whether it be because you want to try something new in
bed or because you were thrilled with the bed busting
experience and you want to tell your partner about it,
they way you express yourself is important.
There are three different ways of expressing yourself
when having sex. The first is informing your partner what
you want to do to them, the second is telling your partner
about trying new things, and finally there is telling
your partner how to improve on what feels good.
Informing Your Partner
Where there is something that you want to do or something
that you want to try, the direct approach is always the
best approach. But you have to watch how you word what
you want to say. For example say you want oral sex. Saying,
“Hey baby, why don’t you come here and suck
my cock,” may not go over well with your partner,
but “What I really love is the way that you suck
on my cock. I can really use some oral sex right now.”
will work a lot better.
If you take a look at it, you start with a compliment
and then move on to what you want. Now this works well
with something that has been done before, but say you
want to try something like anal sex.
When it comes to trying new things it is important that
both of you are interested. If one is reluctant, you should
show concern and stay positive and then explain that you
want to try new things. There is no harm in trying things
once. But if your partner is persistent then you will
have to respect their wishes. The best time to communicate
trying new things is in a neutral area. We will talk about
this more in the Neutral Communication Sessions section.
Feedback is very important when communicating wants and
needs in the bedroom. If your partner is doing something
you don’t like, it wouldn’t be a good idea to
moan to tell her that you are enjoying what she is doing.
On The Side...
If you think about women faking orgasms, you have to start
wondering why they are doing it. Well the main reason
they are doing it is to please you. But realize by her
faking an orgasm all they are doing is reinforcing bad
technique. What that will do is make you repeat what you
are doing to her. Try to get away from this pitfall and
be as honest as possible when it comes to sex.
Every sexual encounter has positives and negatives. Sometimes
when it comes to sex, something just doesn’t feel
right or it may be better if you try it a different way.
Telling your partner right away is very important. If
you want to change something slightly use the same method
as mentioned before: Compliment the person and then tell
them what you want to change. Say something like: “I
love the way you make me feel but it feels a little awkward
this way. Perhaps it would feel better if you tried this.”
Positive Reinforcement
It is important to always tell your partner if they are
doing something right. Which ever way you look at it,
the direct approach is always the best way to go. You
can do this by saying something like: “Oh yeah, that
feels good. Right there. Don’t stop.”
You can also indirectly tell her that she is doing something
good by moaning, “Ohhhing”, or “Ahhhing.”
If you are the giver then there are two ways you can communicate.
The first way is to ask her if she likes what you are
doing. That is asking her something like: “Do you
like it when I lick you slowly or kiss your body?”
Another way to communicate with her is to notice how she
is reacting to what you are doing. Saying something like,
“Oh you seem to really like it when I flick my tongue
over your nipples.” In both of these instances you
are waiting on your partner’s response to be favorable.
If they are not, then ask them what you are doing wrong
to make it better.
By using feedback, your chances for better sex increase.
Try to use both methods of communication when you are
either the giver or the receiver.
Sex Talk - Neutral Communication Sessions
Neutral communication sessions is when you set aside some
time with your partner to discuss what is good in the
bedroom and what needs a little work. Although this is
a mandatory thing that all couples should do, the majority
of the people out there do not discuss their sexual rendezvous’
with each other. Couples should spend some time every
two weeks to discuss their sexual situation (or at least
once every month). If you want to keep sex at its best,
make sure you set aside some time.
When planning the talk, make sure that you talk outside
of your regular sex quarters and preferably some place
where you can talk privately. Finally when telling your
partner, remember to reinforce that you want to make sex
better and that is why you want to have these discussions.
Sometimes, females will get defensive but make sure that
you tell her that you want to make sure that you please
her and encourage her to try to bring new ideas into the
bedroom as well.
Putting it All Together
When it comes to sex talk, there are many areas that you
can focus on, but the thing that you must focus on most
is fulfilling your partner and yourself. Through words
of encouragement, communicating sessions, expressing your
desires, and providing feedback, you will be able to learn
more about pleasuring your partner. Building a sexual
bond through communication may be hard at the beginning,
but like any skill you wish to acquire, there is a learning
curve. But through baby steps you will enrich both of
your lives.
