Okay guys, here’s a brief lesson on buying sex toys.
If you are looking to buy your partner a sex toy for the
first time, there are some things you should probably
know. First of all, don’t be afraid of going into
a sex shop and asking for help. After all, a sex toy can
bring a lot of excitement and fun to any relationship.
But it’s better to be a little embarrassed with a
knowledgeable sales clerk that can answer your questions
than come home with a 20-inch fist that your partner is
supposed to stick…where?!?
A vibrator with variable speed can change a woman’s
sex life. While some come with one speed, on or off, a
good vibrator will come with a variable speed setting
so that your partner can control the amount of warm fuzzy
feelings they want to have at any given time. These types
of vibrators will likely use battery power faster, so
be prepared to include a large package of batteries with
each sex toy purchase. Nothing sucks more than opening
a present and then not being able to use it right away.
I’ve been told by sex toy sales staff that when it
comes to buying batteries, it’s actually better to
buy the cheap no-name kind. Apparently these weaker batteries
will be less likely to blow the small engine on a vibrator,
something you can run the risk of doing during any use,
particularly if the vibrator is on high speed much of
the time.
Size
Despite the old adage that “size matters,” it
might not matter in the way you think it does. Sixteen
inch cocks really aren’t cool. After all, there is
only so and so much room for these things in any female
orifice, and sometimes it just stops feeling good. Some
of the best and most versatile sex toys are small egg-shaped
vibrators that a person can cup in the palm of their hand
and apply to erogenous areas. In fact, sometimes it can
be the little things that matter most. There are texturized
rubber sleeves that you can buy that go over a small dildo
or finger, providing different types of simulation.
Color
Now this might sound a little stupid, but there are reasons
that many sex toys come in a variety of bright colors.
Sometimes it’s a little disconcerting to be confronted
with a disembodied penis, so if it’s pink or blue,
it seems a little less alarming. One of my friends has
told me that she would never buy a dildo or vibrator that
was imitating any shade of flesh. Who wants to have a
vein-covered cock hidden away in their bedside drawer
when they could have a nice pink strawberry scented toy?
Texture
Depending on the toy, texture really matters. If you are
buying a dildo or vibrator, you will need to choose between
those made of hard or soft material. Dildos made of hard
plastic can be uncomfortable, so make sure you are aware
of your partner’s needs beforehand. Latex toys can
be much more comfortable. Some hard toys, like vibrating
eggs, come with a “cyber-skin” covering meant
to ensure comfort. You should really consider getting
a softer toy if you are using it for anal insertion, for
reasons all too obvious.
An easy way to break into using sex toys in a relationship
is to start with something simple like lubricant. A good
sex store will have as many different kinds of lubricant
as they do dildos. Before you purchase any, find out more
about them. Many lubricants are scented which is nice,
but can also cause problems is the scent is overpowering.
Also, find out if the lubricant is water or oil based,
depending on your use. Some people would prefer not to
get a mouthful of oily lube while pleasuring their partner,
so take this into consideration. Lastly, find out if the
lubricant does anything. By this I mean does the lubricant
heat up when used? Some heat up with friction, while others
heat up with a little blow from a lover’s mouth,
which can be very pleasurable. Is the lubricant edible?
While it might still taste a little gross to have it in
your mouth, is it safe to use in this way? Having a bottle
of lubricant on hand is a safe and sexy way to induce
a little foreplay, and is well worth the price—ask
any woman.
Don’t be cheap
There are a plethora of crappy sex toys out there, but
if you want to get one that is any good and will last
longer than one night, don’t buy the items off the
clearance table. They either don’t work properly
or have been proven to not bring orgasms, a fatal flaw
of any sex toy. And, don’t go looking for any used
sex toy sales. In a recent advice column I read, a person
was asking if there was a place to buy and sell used sex
toys. If you are this hard up for cash, give blood, sell
cookies, do anything except try to pawn crusty, broken
vibrators that have graced the inner depths of someone’s
body. Giving the gift of better sex or easier masturbation
isn’t that expensive anyway. You can buy a decent
little vibrator for your partner for about $20.00.
Of course, this is only a brief introduction to the world
of sex toys. You can also explore the world of bondage,
butt plugs and leather, but I wouldn’t necessarily
recommend starting with these things, particularly if
your partner is a bit nervous about sex toys to begin
with…
