So You Wanna Be a Porn Star...

Thinking back to all of the junior high and high school guidance counselors I had over the years, I remember taking dozens of career aptitude tests. The comment that kept coming up over and over again was "Do something you love." And who doesn't love having sex with beautiful people? If you have ever for a moment pondered your chances of breaking into the wild and exciting world of adult entertainment, then here is the nitty gritty from those who have found success.

Getting there
How many times have you been watching a good porno by yourself and thought, "I wish I wasn't by myself. I wish I was there"? The word on the street is that if you are a man, breaking into the porn business is extremely difficult, and more so if you are going to restrict yourself to the hetero scene. The primary reason for this is that the vast majority of adult films are directed towards men. Ergo, you, my friend, are strictly a prop in many ways. You are the vehicle through which female stars make their way to fame and glory. You are simply the man behind (or under, or around, or on top of-but not so much as to restrict the view of her) the woman.

Women rise to the top of only two industries where they are the ones consistently making the big cabbage: modeling and adult entertainment. If you do happen to find yourself in the industry, know that you will be making a pittance compared to your female compadres. But the benefits are pretty good.

In an interview with the Onion a.v. club, Ron Jeremy, a.k.a. the Hedgehog, the everyman that makes you think that you could have a chance, spoke of the difficulties of breaking into the biz. Having posed for Playgirl in 1978, Jeremy was approached to do a film. Even with the interest, Jeremy had to get into the biz attached to a woman. Jeremy is shocked my guys who think they can just be in porn because they want to be: "People don't just let anyone off the street do that. You can go get an escort, but this is different. This is public porn for the world to see. You have to be screened."

Dave Cummings agrees. The oldest man in the mainstream porn industry (he didn't get in until he was 54) caught a lucky break. After his marriage dissolved, he decided that he was going to jump into life head first, entering the swinging scene. At one particular orgy he attended, he ended up slithering around with a young porn star who, impressed with his prowess and stamina in the autumn years of his life, hooked him up to work with a producer she knew.

On his Web site (www.davecummings.com), Cummings gives the same advice as Jeremy. With only 30-40 all-stars on the roster in the California scene, there are maybe four or five new guys that break into the industry every year. And these are almost always on the arm of a beautiful lady. Even then, the girl that you go into the industry attached to has to be something special. She has to be more beautiful or talented than the 600+ women who are trying to break into the big leagues. She also has to be very loyal, because if she gets a break, she may be risking it by demanding that you are her partner.

Ya got one shot, and one shot only
So, you've followed the advice of the experienced and battle weary and you are one lucky s.o.b. because you've got a meeting with a producer. However you got here, don't think the battle is over-it has only just begun. If you have the extreme fortune of actually getting to talk to someone who can hook you up, it is good to have proof that you are going to be able to perform. These shoots do not last the 6-8 month junkets of the average Hollywood feature. If you hold up the filming for an hour because someone gets camera shy, you have just doubled the production time and producers are losing money.

Cummings suggests that if you happen to have a tape of yourself having sex in front of, say, 50 to 100 people, then that might help you out. If not, you are going to have to know yourself very well. Can you perform on cue? You can't fake arousal or orgasm like a lady can, so you are going to have to be able to become hard on command. And stay that way until you are told differently.

This means staying hard for up to an hour or two, depending on how elaborate the production is. And this isn't the same as keeping it up for an all-night romp. There are lighting crews, camera crews, creepy friends of the production team who are allowed to come and gawk, other actors, you name it. And they are going to be sticking lighting and camera equipment in places you never imagined.

As if this weren't enough, not only to you have to become and stay hard on command, you have to be able to provide the money shot at a moment's notice. Literally. Boys who cannot perform their first time get cut form the roster for good, so know yourself and train for the big game.

Most importantly, safety is a primary concern of the industry, You will have to be tested thoroughly before you can even find out the location of the shoot, followed by monthly AIDS tests for the duration of your career. And any weeping sores are generally frowned upon, so get those taken care of before the interview.

In the end, Cummings stresses that no matter how perfectly chiseled or groomed you are, no matter how big your equipment may be (and it should be at least slightly larger than average), if you can't control, maintain, and cum on command, you are of no use to anyone.

For more information on breaking into the industry as a film or online performer or producer, pick up 1-2-3 Be a Porn Star! by adult entertainment professional Ana Loria or visit www.safesex.com for advice from the pros.