The Sounds of Sex

I walked in on an interesting conversation last Sunday when a few girlfriends of mine were discussing the infamous 'orgasm' scene in 'When Harry Met Sally'. Ah, yes, the fake orgasm, an undetectable but sometimes necessary tool in every woman's bedroom. Why is it so easy for us? Not including g-spot ejaculation, the biggest indicator of orgasm in a woman is usually in the way she breathes and the sounds that she makes. These indicators happen to be very easy for us to simulate if the situation calls for it. A few oohs and a few aahs combined with some intense facial expressions can easily have a guy thinking he's the stud of the century. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a big advocate of faking orgasms, in fact I highly recommend against it. But faking it is not only a common practice for some women, it's also a great segue into sounds of sex.

Listen Carefully!
Alexis is a screamer. How do I know? We went to college together and believe me when I say this; you can hear more than just the TV through those dorm-room walls. Personally, I think the walkman was invented for these types of situations. But, although I did resort to my headphones as an escape from their sexual indulgence, I also found myself curious and somewhat stimulated. Now, I'm not the type to go pleasuring myself to the sound of my girlfriend climaxing, but one afternoon I secretly invited my boyfriend over for a pre-coital listen.

Let me describe the scenario. There's a knock at the door, I open it up. The lights are low, but he can still see me dressed in a tight t-shirt and cotton panties. I press my finger to my lips as if to say, "Shhh,"and motion for him to enter. Whispering in his ear, I ask him to remove his pants, lay on the bed, and listen carefully. Now take note that the whole time this is happening I haven't physically touched him. The next thing I asked him to do was close his eyes. Yes, he's already seen me-but that was just a visual teaser. Everything is set up so that any stimulation he receives will be almost entirely through his ears. You see, the amazing thing about sound is that it taps into the biggest sex organ in our body, the brain. As I sat and watched him from my desk, I noticed that he became almost instantly aroused at the kinky sounds being emitted from next door. I watched him for about ten minutes, whispering naughty thoughts to fuel his growing desire. In no time at all, I was turned on, he was turned on. Then, needless to say, I jumped him and initiated some of the best sex I ever had.

Turn it up!
We all know that men are visually oriented when it comes to sexual stimulation. That is, show a man some breasts and a nice ass, and it's likely that you'll have his full attention. But even though it is usually found in combination with other sexual stimulants, sound seems to work favorably for both of the sexes. For a woman, there's something about having just the hint of sex placed in your mind. Given the opportunity, when the seed is planted, it can grow into a wild sexual fantasy that gets us hotter than you can imagine. My friend Candace explains, "If I hear sex going on, it plants sexy thoughts in my brain. There's something about being able to create your own scenario from a tiny bit of information. That way you are only limited by your own imagination. Anything can happen. It's different than looking at a dirty magazine or watching porn. With visual information you either like it or you don't, with audible information you can imagine any number of scenarios attached to it."

I can't hear you!
The only problem Candace had encountered is with the balance between the male and the female in any given sexual performance. This is because men are typically not vocal enough during sex. In fact, there are some theories on this issue. One theory attributes a man's silent sexual antics back to his childhood. Here, Junior would discreetly pleasure himself with his unsuspecting parents in the next room. In this case, Junior's silence is a survival technique, ensuring he will not get caught and punished for his dirty deeds. As they say, 'old habits die hard,' thus the silent masturbating boy becomes the silent sexual male.

Although sounds can be extremely stimulating, some of us females have had bad experiences with them. Some men can't get to doing anything but the 'grunt-thrust' technique. "I actually find it a turn off when he is pumping away with a grunt, grunt, grunt. It sounds like wild kingdom or something. Us girls are expected to moan enthusiastically and writhe in pleasure while he does that?"Candace asks. "It can do a lot for a woman's arousal if he just lets go and expresses himself. Even with just a few words here and there. I had the biggest orgasm when my boyfriend yelled, 'I'm coming!!!' at the conclusion of one of our sessions,"says Candace. " Of course, he was also very good at expressing himself during foreplay and while we were having sex. In fact, I knew exactly where to go and what to do just by listening to how he was reacting. Not only does this satisfy him, it really gets me wet!"

Testing, one, two...
Here is something to try if your girl is not against watching porn or erotic films. Invite your lover to the adult video store so you can select a title together. Just remember, there's nothing worse for a girl than having her man bring home 'Teen Cheerleader Anal Gangbangs #47' (unless she's into that sort of thing). So having her there with your to pick out something you both enjoy is going to work for you, not against you. Select a title that does not appear to be overly descriptive of the content and don't read the back of the video to get any hints as to what type of action is inside.

When you get home, make sure you set the mood just as you would in your usual adult film watching sessions. Light candles, throw some blankets and pillows on the couch and turn up the heat a little so you don't get a chill. The next thing you have to do (if you already haven't done so) is set up your VCR or DVD player so the sound goes through your stereo. With the TV on, play the movie you just rented. When the feature starts, turn the TV off but keep the stereo on so that the sound still comes through the speakers. Tell your lover to lay down on the bed or couch with her eyes closed. You can also have her wear a blindfold if she is comfortable doing so. Now ask her to try to imagine what is happening in the movie based on the sound alone. As you talk about it, be sure to caress her gently and tease her with your hands and tongue. Just tease, don't give it all up! You can take this as far as you want to, through as many scenes as your specific situation dictates. If she stops talking, don't worry she is probably deep into her fantasy. The simple combination of audio stimulus with your gentle caress should create fantastic mental images for her.

When my boyfriend and I tried this I only lasted through two scenes. There was a lot of touching, teasing and tempting but never any direct stimulation of my genitals. Yes, you heard me correctly, he avoided contact with everything soft, moist and pink. But guess what? Despite any clitoral stimulation, I would probably consider this little experiment one of the best foreplay experiences of my sexual existence. I barely made it mid-way through scene two before I was literally begging him for sex.

Although my experience turned out to be my own personal idea of 'the ultimate foreplay', remember that everyone is different. Make sure you pay attention to how she is reacting to not only your touch but also the sounds you are presenting to her. Consider renting two videos just incase one of them turns out to be less than appropriate. Also, let the experiment unfold as you see fit. If you end up having sex mid-way through scene one, then so be it! The only purpose is to concentrate on her sense of hearing as a new path to sexual stimulation.

BONUS: As afterplay, turn the TV back on, rewind the tape and watch the scenes you both just heard. Then hold and caress each other as you compare her fantasies to what actually happened on the video. I guarantee it will be entertaining, informative and stimulating!