Your Sexual Body Image

As we get older we start inspecting our body, using it as a determining factor for how we feel, how we look, and how we act sexually. As we work to come to terms with our own body, we are overwhelmed with images of the actors and models which grace the covers of magazines, the pages of web sites, and the big screens of Hollywood. We wish to look and be like these "perfect" people, and as we do this, we subject ourselves to self-criticism, dangerous diets, and even plastic surgery.

When we start dating, we tend to criticize our body more than normal. Even though it shouldn't be, the weigh scale in the washroom has become the one determining factor of our very own sexual self esteem. During the dating phase, we look for the worst and end up exaggerating these factors way out of proportion. These negative self concepts do not only affect your mental health, but can lead to unhealthy behaviors (such as eating disorders) if left unattended.

If you are looking to improve your body image and self esteem you have to realize that no one person is perfect. Those women you see in fashion magazines and the chiseled images of men in your health magazines have been airbrushed and digitally modified to make them seem "perfect." In addition, many of these people have also spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on plastic surgery to make themselves seem perfect to the critical eye.

When inspecting yourself, always look for two positive aspects of your body, or your personality, for each negative feature you point out. By looking positively at your body and disregarding any of your "flaws," you will start to overlook the bad and notice only the good. Another thing we can do is control the other aspects of our life. Start dressing more stylish, eat healthier, and look to improve yourself in all areas, including your home life, what you do at work, and your personal life.

Body Image - The Concerns of a Woman

1. Weight
A woman's weight is the number one thing that all women look at when determining their body image. Because many women use a scale to determine their body image, their self-esteem drops as their weight increases. More accurate measurements include Body Mass Index (B.M.I.) and body composition readings. What women need to do is throw away the bathroom scale and use a mirror or other readings and measurements to evaluate their body.

2. Age
As women age, the way that they look at their bodies changes. Wrinkles set in, skin starts to sag, and grey hairs start to peek through as they constantly try to cover up the signs of aging. If you want to stay young, staying active is the best medicine. If you stay active in extra-curricular activities, age will not make a difference.

One other factor for which age plays a major role is the ability to give birth. As her internal clock ticks, she who is not married or in a relationship, starts thinking more and more about her body's waning reproductive system.

3. Breast size
They know that men look at them and they know that men love them. The increase of the number of breast enhancements in the last decade is virtual proof that women feel that their bust size affects their self worth. Realize that with an increase in breast size comes the digging of bra straps on shoulders and a plethora back problems. Remember, small does have it's advantages!

4. Stretch marks
When women gain a substantial amount of weight or when they give birth, they tend to develop stretch marks in many places on their body. Although it is in the minds of many women, they should remember that when the lights are dim the stretch marks are the furthest thing from a guy's mind.

5. Their Waist
A lot of women put their worth in their dress size. And heaven forbid if she moves up a dress size or two! No matter what you do, dress sizes differ between brands. The best thing you can do when you go shopping is to buy clothing that fits you well. Not only will this clothing make you look better, but it will also make you look thinner. She should just cut off the tag when she gets home if it really bothers her.

Men's Physical Issues

1. Penis size
There will always be the debate on whether penis size matters. Regardless of what you have in your pants you can always perform better if you know how to use it. Yes, size can play a major factor when pleasuring a female, but remember that skill is just as important when you are performing the mattress mambo.

2. Age
Though women look at age more than men, it is still an issue. Men feel that as they get older that they will not be as attractive to females. But as men get older, they become more distinguished, they know more about what they want, and they develop the confidence in all aspects of life.

3. Belly
A man's waist grows because of his obsessions with beer, food, and the ubiquitous television. By limiting your alcohol intake, watching what you eat, and increasing fitness activity - three simple tactics - you can get rid of your spare tire faster. I don't think any of us can find a plus to that big old belly, so just try to lose as much of it as you can before someone asks you when you are expecting to give birth.

4. Sexual Ability
All women expect a man to know how to please them. They also expect you to last for hours during intercourse, know how to have fun in bed, and give them plenty of foreplay. Typically, during this sexual circus, they wont even indicate to you where they want you to touch them. The best skill you can learn in life is how to be good in bed. Pick up a book, browse through an website, or look within some men's lifestyle magazines for more information.

5. Muscles
We all wish we had washboard abs, a monster chest, and killer biceps. You can't get these by staying at home, so I suggest that you get yourself off the couch and buy yourself a gym membership or some free weights for your home. Try to find the time to exercise at least three times a week, an hour at a time - no excuses!

Motivation is the key to success at the gym and many of the other aspects of your life. The result of this motivation combined with a balanced lifesyle should be a body image that reflects positivity and sexual well being. Just remember, keep your body image real, true to who you are and what the genetic lottery has given you to work with. As an indirect bonus, feed the woman in your life a compliment once in a while too - she'll love you for it!