This is the third instalment of a regular series about Urban
SEX Legends. These are stories that you have heard late at night, from some guy or girl you don't know, about some horror story involving
sex gone wrong. Our mission is to tell the story in its shocking entirety, then see if we can label it fact or fiction. So read on if you dare and enter the always fascinating, sometimes horrifying world of Urban
SEX Legends.
Fisting Gone Wrong (Can it ever go right?)
Fisting: for most of us, truly the untamed, undiscovered country. Sure, we have all seen the graphic pictures and horrifying videos on the Internet. Some poor chick has everything from a tire iron to a champagne bottle shoved up her kootchi-snorcher. Everything, that is, until some guy starts fisting her. Fisting would seem physically impossible at first glance, but there are those " both men and women " who have perfected the ancient art of ramming their fist up a vagina or anus. Perhaps ramming is to rough a term, since ramming is not the healthy way to go about this. No, gentle sliding is more appropriate. But sometimes "being gentle' is just not an option, particularly when excitement and passion take over.
The Legend
Picture this, two young gay men in their prime of their life. They are both successful. Tommy has earned enough in pharmaceutical sales to buy himself a house. Ted, his lover, is a stock trader. The two of them have been dating for nearly six months, a record for the flamboyant Ted. They like a lot of the same things " clubbing, hanging out at the beach, and all the good things money brings to the table.
And speaking of tables, Tommy had purchased an amazing one. An Italian masterpiece, several hundred years old, Tommy found it being used to display food in an old Italian bakery. He asked the owners if they would sell it to him. He got it cheap, and then lovingly restored it to a high, shiny gloss. He added two long wooden benches to each side, and two ornate chairs at either end. Tommy loved that table; it made the house.
On the evening in question, Tommy had prepared a meal fit for a king"¦or queen. Lemon-pepper chicken, grilled rosemary spring potatoes and a cheese salad. He topped it off with home made bread, with garlic olive oil and red wine vinegar for dipping. He lit the candles when Ted rang the bell. Everything was perfect.
Ted was amazed by the meal. The wine flowed like water, and the two lovers were soon laughing and giggling like, well, schoolgirls. They toasted each other, kissed, fed each other morsels of delicious food and kissed some more. When the meal was done, Ted stated, "Do you have a desert as well?" Tommy just smiled, and then he did something crazy. He started to kiss Ted passionately; Ted was more than ready for this dessert. Soon clothes and plates were flying, as Tommy and Ted climbed up onto that fantastic antique table.
When Tommy told Ted to roll over, he obeyed. It wasn't until the cool virgin olive oil started to spill onto his ass that he knew tonight would be special. Tommy asked him if he was ready for something wild, Ted screamed out "YES!' That's when the fisting started. Ted was shocked at first, but he always had a wild side and was soon squirming like a fish out of water. He was moving so wildly at the end of Tommy's oiled up arm that oil and food quickly covered the table's surface. And that is when things started to go horribly wrong.
Tommy, oblivious to anything, just pumped away like a piston. Ted was screaming for more and bucking like a bronco, and that's when he slid. And since they were on top of a table, there was only one way to slide " off the table. They hit the bench first, then the floor. They landed pretty much like they started, with Tommy on top of Ted, with one small exception. Tommy's arm clipped the bench on the way down and snapped in two, the break occurred between the elbow and the fist, but when they hit the ground the whole thing jammed deep into Ted's anus.
Several things happened next. Tommy tried to yank out his arm, which was causing him immense pain. But the bone had broken through the skin and was acting like a fishhook inside of Ted's ass. Ted screamed " in pain this time " but Tommy was still in shock. He kept yanking away, slicing open more and more of Ted's rectum. The noise eventually drew the attention of some neighbours, who called the police. When they broke down the door, they weren't sure what they had found but they called an ambulance. Ted and Tommy, still intertwined, were carted off to the nearest emergency room.
In the aftermath of this horror story, Ted and Tommy " thanks to the mixing of blood and feces " both became infected with sepsis, a severe bacterial infection. Ted had the added bonus of a severely lacerated colon, which took months to recover from. Needless to say, the only thing that came out of this unscathed was that gorgeous Italian antique table, which is only used for eating these days.
Fact or Fiction?
The truth is although the names and occupations of the two men have been changed, I heard this story from a friend of one of the doctors. Doctors love to tell their favourite horror story, and this one certainly horrifies me.
Conclusion
If you must use that fist for something other than punching or shaking, proceed with caution. Do not attempt this new game with your lady on a slippery surface or an elevated location. Stick to the bed and remember " it's better to give than to receive!
