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SEX & SENSUALITY

Urban SEX Legends: Episode 4
9 1/2 Weeks Wannabees

This is the fourth instalment of a regular series about Urban SEX Legends. These are stories that you have heard late at night, from some guy or girl you don't know, about some horror story involving sex gone wrong. Our mission is to tell the story in its shocking entirety, then see if we can label it fact or fiction. So read on, if you dare, and enter the always fascinating, sometimes horrifying world of Urban SEX Legends.

9 1/2 Weeks
If you have never seen the very sexy, 9 1/2 Weeks, then you may want to rush out and rent it before you read this article. The movie solidified Kim Bassinger as a superstar, and every woman from ages 16-61 wanted to have sex with Mickey Rourke. Well, the movie also had a darker side. After watching the film, many couples decided that the infamous "˜kitchen scene' was something they wanted to try for themselves. In case you forget, the scene has a blindfolded, naked Bassinger sprawled on the kitchen floor, while Rourke smears food on, in, and all over her body. Many things were used "“ condiments, eggs, ice etc "“ and Kim writhes and begs for more.

The scene is very erotic, in a film full of erotic sex scenes. The end result is that curious moviegoers rushed home to give it a try. Most had positive, romantic experiences, but there were one or two that went very, very wrong"¦

The Legend
Sarah and Sean had only been dating for only a few weeks, so they were still on a sexual high that only comes with a new partner. In between their seemingly endless desire to have sex as often as possible, they did occasionally leave Sean's sparse bachelor's apartment. On the night in question, Sean had suggested a movie. He had heard about 9 1/2 Weeks from a co-worker, and every movie critic either loathed or loved it. Regardless of the opinions floating around that hot summer night in 1986, there was one thing everyone agreed on: the sex scenes were very hot.

They went to the theatre, and between the groping on the screen and Sean's busy hands, they could not wait to leave. They ran all the way back to the apartment, both giggling about what was to come. They were going to try to make life imitate art. When they got there, Sean moved right in and started to kiss Sarah. The kisses led to a tumbled fall to the kitchen floor, where clothes were quickly removed. Sean tied her shirt around her eyes, she giggled with delight. As Sarah lay expectantly on the cold floor, Sean went to the fridge and looked inside. But it was empty, except for some day old milk and a wilted head of lettuce. The freezer had nothing but an empty ice tray and an empty package of ice cream bars. He frowned, but then he smiled and moved to the counter. An open can of tuna, remnants of their supper, sat beckoning to him.

Sarah was itching with excitement when she heard him return.

" What are you doing?" She gasped impatiently.

Sean moved above her, and that is when Sarah felt the first drops hit her breasts. She squealed.

"What is it?"

" Tuna!" Sean replied. "It's all I have."

" Cool. Eat it off my body."

Sean needed no more prompting. He emptied the can on Sarah's stomach and rubbed into her flesh. She moaned, begging for more. He licked her, ate off of her, made her scream. Later, they would say it was the best sex they ever had. Of course that was before the incident.

A few days after the 9 1/2 Weeks experiment, Sean and Sarah had moved on to a next big thrill (vibrators). It was then that Sarah began to have serious cramping in her vagina. Things were so bad a few days later, including a murky discharge, that the two young lovers went to a local street clinic to find out what sort of VD had been unleashed upon them. Sarah went in for her exam. The doctor, after asking a few questions, put her in the stirrups. Sarah watched his face go from mild disinterest to one of shock. She panicked.

" What's wrong?"

The doctor moved back in, pulled something out with tweezers and held it up for her to see.

" What is it?" She cried.

" A maggot," was his response.

Sarah screamed and passed out.

When she came to, she was already on the road to recovery, thanks to a good cleaning and some powerful antibiotics. It turns out that a good chunk of the tuna ended up lodged inside her vagina, where it subsequently rotted, festered and became a food-fest for maggots. The incident ended the new relationship, since Sean was horrified that her vagina smelled like tuna!

Fact or Fiction?
This story has been around as long as the movie has, about 18-years. They legend is that the girl had tuna inside her vagina, which had been covered in fly's eggs (maggots). They hatched after a few days, and then caused the cramping and the pain. Although I heard this story first hand (prior to the Internet craze) from a female friend I trust, it still seems hard to swallow. Most believe it is fiction, but the fact is, it is physically possible that this could happen. Check this informative site out if you want to know more: http://www.myvag.net

Conclusion
Sex is always fun, so is food. Perhaps combining the two will end in a great experience, but choose your food products wisely. Nobody wants anything crawling out of his girlfriend's vagina, particularly tuna-hungry maggots!