Voyeurism For Couples

dictionary.com defines a voyeur as, "a person who derives sexual gratification from observing the naked bodies or sexual acts of others, especially from a secret vantage point." When presented with this idea of voyeurism most people conjure up images of a peeping-tom lurking in the bushes outside of an unsuspecting college girl's dorm. This is only one of several scenarios of voyeurism that may occur. In the case of the peeping-tom, the female is victimized while the peeper achieves sexual gratification through secretive observation. Not only is this illegal, it is also sick and perverted. Please do not engage in this type of activity! Instead, consider a type of voyeurism that involves a mutual agreement between two willing parties. This week we are going to clear up some misconceptions of voyeurism and explore how you can introduce voyeuristic scenarios into your bedroom activities.

Watching
Recently my lover confessed to me that he likes to watch women pleasure themselves while they are seemingly alone. At first I was startled by this revelation, but being liberal minded I began to ask him what about this scenario turned him on. The answer was threefold:

Firstly, he said that he loves to look at the naked female body. Now, we all know that men are visually oriented when it comes to sexually activity. So what straight man wouldn't want to watch a naked woman writhing in pleasure?

Secondly, he explained that watching a woman pleasure herself is like reading a how-to manual on how to be a great sexual partner for that specific woman. He knew that the more he learned about what she liked to do to herself, the better it would make him in the sack. Very true!

Thirdly, he enjoyed the sense of danger that was involved. Although he was never the type to spy through a dorm room window, he enjoyed watching pornographic movies that were made to look like the women were unaware of the camera. I suppose that could be considered mildly perverted, but it does not cross the line of being illegal or violent in any way shape or form.

When considering all three aspects of his newly revealed fantasy I found myself curious as to whether there could be a situation where pleasure is derived from both participating parties in a mutual arrangement.

Watched
Sunday night is girls night around my house. And what better way to spend Sunday than chatting with the girls about all things SEX. With my boyfriend's fantasy still spinning in my head, I decided to throw the topic of voyeurism out for discussion with the girls. Here is an excerpt from the conversation that resulted:

Kerri: Who here has been curious about voyeurism?

Karen: Ummm. I think it has its place, but I don't think you should be spying on anyone without them knowing. That is just wrong.

Alexis: That's so true, but I've also heard that a lot of women have fantasies about being watched. It's like they have a need to be desired, and when it is anonymous it just adds to the mystery.

Karen: Sounds like this person is you!

Alexis: Maybe!

Candace: Hey, I'll admit to having those fantasies too. When I am alone in my room it gets me twice as hot to think that someone could be watching through the crack in the door. I just use my imagination even though I know that no one is there it is still exhilarating.

Karen: Wow, and I thought we knew each other!

Alexis: Candace, have you ever put theory into practice?

Candace: Well, several years ago I let my boyfriend watch from the next room while I went about my business. It worked for me - it worked for him. It's all good.

Kerri: So you used it as a form of foreplay.

Candace: No way, that was the whole thing. We both got off before the sex began! It was odd yet refreshing to be a part of something that different. Plus, you aren't responsible for the other person's satisfaction. You get exactly what you want, how you want it!

Eureka!
With a little bit of research, I began to find out that there was something more to voyeurism than what I originally thought. And as my duty to my loyal readers I began to develop a creative way to safely and effectively introduce voyeurism to curious couples. Although both roles are interchangeable, this scenario will consider the man to be the observer while the woman is the observed.

Act 1
In order to effectively pull off voyeurism with your partner you need to set the scene as genuinely as possible. This means that you have to make it seem that the observed is really unaware of the observer. Also, you must provide enough information to the observer so that he feels as if he is entering a private space. Here's how you do it:

1. Consent - please guys, make sure she is into this before you try anything.

2. The Key - if you are using her place, be sure you have a key to get in. Your entrance must be smooth and quiet - we don't want you falling off the second floor balcony! If your place is the venue, lend her a key so she can set everything up before you get home from work.

3. Schedule - although spontaneity can add excitement, sometimes you have to determine a "window of opportunity" for things to happen. For example, if she knows you come home from work around 5:30, she should be getting warmed up at around 5:15. You should be expected to arrive within 30 minutes, so don't be late!

4. Indicators - when you come home, you need to have some indication that she is inside, naked, with hands and toys exploring every crevice of her body. Get one of those "do not disturb" doorknob hangers like the hotels use. Have her hang it on the exterior door so that you know what is happening before you even walk into the house.

5. Sight - before you enter, she should provide you with an environment that will eliminate any awareness of your presence. To do this, all of the lights should be off except for the room where she is "˜performing'. That way you can see in, but she can't see out. Her room lighting should be dim enough to set the mood but be bright enough so that you can view every detail of her performance.

6. Sound - she should have romantic music playing loud enough so that any sounds that you make upon entering will not be heard. Furthermore, make sure the CD is on repeat so the music doesn't stop at an inconvenient time, thus blowing your cover.

7. Viewpoint - be sure that your vantage point is both revealing and comfortable. Her bedroom door should be partially closed, but open enough for you to have full view. Sit far enough back as not to be discovered. You should be comfortable as well, sit on the floor with some pillows and a blanket or utilize the couch if the angle is right.

8. Enjoy - if she gets into this as much as I got into this you'll be one happy boy. When done right, she won't have any clue if or when you are watching. Remember, each of you are responsible for your own sexual gratification. So, as you sit back and enjoy the show feel free to take care of your little friend down south.

The biggest trick to enjoying this kind of premeditated voyeurism is to have complete enthusiastic consent from both parties. I can't stress this enough. If she is unsure of this type of activity there will definitely be a risk of embarrassment or even resentment, and we don't want that. So be sure to test the waters before you take the plunge. Otherwise, if you're into it and she's into it, it can be another creative way to get close to her while being a dozen feet apart! When all is done, crawl in next to her and tell her how great she was. There's nothing like a compliment to guarantee you a second show.